Posted on April 21st, 2008 at 6:55 pm by Cheesesteak Hoagie
Traditionally, I react to Mike Florio’s anti-Eagles rumormongering with a knowing-but-disappointed sigh and a mild clucking of the tongue: I’m sure posting about the Birds earns him extra page views at this point, and who am I to deny a man his livelihood! Sure, some of the rumors are especially silly (especially the more outlandish ones involving Dunavin), but at least we know enough at this point not to overreact.
That said, I think last week was the first time that I actually got excited about an allegedly anti-Eagles rumor on PFT. In a discussion of the “new” draft-day trade chart (note: if you’re reading this, I assume you’re aware of both the “old” and the proposed “new” draft-day trade charts…umm, right?), Florio quoted a “league source” as saying that this so-called “new” chart was just a scheme by the Eagles to screw over the other teams:
A league source tells us that, in his opinion and based on discussions with most of the other NFL teams, the proposal is the direct result of the Philadelphia Eagles to make it easier to trade up from the No. 19 overall spot in the 2008 draft.
“The whole thing sounds like an elaborate ruse,” the source said.
A ruse, do you say? A cunning attempt to deceive the other teams? Really? From Joe Banner?
Umm, that’s actually kind of AWESOME. If you’re telling me that Joe Banner can weave some sort of grand conspiracy across the NFL solely to land a better player for the Birds (and crush the final vestiges of Jimmy Johnson in the NFL), well, then I want to buy that man a drink!
I really wanted to drop a Simpsons quote here, but YouTube wouldn’t cooperate (”Remember when he ate my goldfish, then you said I never had a goldfish? Then why did I have the bowl Bart? WHY DID I HAVE THE BOWL?!”). In lieu of Milhouse, we’ll have to make do with the standard nerd refrain in this scenario: that Joe Banner is rocking a serious Jedi Mind Trick on the rest of the League:
(These aren’t the trade charts you’re looking for.)
- Banner supports Coach and QB in carefully orchestrated PR move
- Back to work, it’s been real
- Injured Eagles rookie likes to party, he likes the nightlife; a long-awaited Eagles scandal?
- Joe Banner defends non-moves, disses Cowboys
- The Japanese monster argument for a running back