As phired up as we are in re: the Phightins, it would be ridiculous to pretend that we won’t be bent out of shape regarding Sunday’s football game. And as much as the Eagles might enjoy a week or two out of the spotlight, well, they’re not really convinced that anyone will forget about them; as B-Dawk explained in his mid-week presser:

I think anytime that the team that is further along in the season is doing a good job, that other team is going to take a backseat at that time. That’s just the way it is. I think it should be that way because we all should be rooting for the Phillies, and I think the majority of us are, I know I am anyway. So, that doesn’t take anything away from what we have to do.

And believe me, if we go out in the game, and I’m not saying we will, but if we stink it up, you think the papers and you think the fans will be a little quieter because the Phillies are doing well? No. They are going to be just as upset, just as T’d off, and just as opinionated as they always are, so that doesn’t take away our responsibility to do our job and to hold ourselves to a high standard because someone is doing good across the street over there.”

If only it weren’t completely true. Sigh.

Also, we’re going to need a special name for the apocalypse coming to South Philly on Sunday. Eagles at 1, Phils at 8? That’s going to mean Daytona 500 levels of urine and puke in the parking lots. Also, I can’t wait to hear/ read about the glorious tales of horror from those of you who manage to make make it a doubleheader. Usually the most we can hope for on that front is a Flyers/ Sixers-into-Eagles affair, but Birds + World Series is really another level of absurdity.

Anyone interested in talking me into spending way too much money on tickets, please do so in the comments. NOTE: I’m a total sucker for peer pressure.

Just watched Andy Reid’s presser. It contained actual information!

Most interesting/ compelling thing he said: “…it’d be Kevin and DeSean” in re: who will be starting at wideout. Sorry, Reggie Brown!

Least interesting/ compelling thing he said: “I feel like I have an All-Pro tight end” in re: a question about L.J. Smith. That’s probably why you guys went after Tony Gonzalez! So you could have two All-Pro tight ends!

Shame on me for missing this a few weeks back, but Tanner Cooley (brother and blogging partner of Redskins’ tight end Chris Cooley) took the time to gloat on the family blog (www.ChrisCooley47.com) regarding Donovan McNabb’s blog posting following the Redskins game; you know, it was the one where he claimed that the Eagles were better than the Redskins. Oops. Tanner Cooley didn’t seem to agree:

When I played football the team that won the game was usually the better team. When Donovon McNabb plays, it doesn’t matter who scores more, has better stats, and leaves the field victorious. All that matters is how you feel inside.

I [Donovan McNabb] believe that we lost to teams we should have beaten. Not because I think they are not good - they are. But I still believe we are better; we just didn’t show it.

He must not have watched game film because going 30 minutes without a first down didn’t show the Eagles being better. 4 straight 3 and outs didn’t do it. And I’m pretty sure getting out-rushed 203 to 58 and being booed off their own field definitely didn’t prove the E-A-G-L-E-S to be the superior team. But either way, a fact is fact and the Eagles were the only NFC East team to not make the playoffs last year and they are right on track to repeat this year. So if they know in their heart’s that they are a better team after losing games, I guess they don’t know what “better” is.

RRRRRRRRRR!

So a couple things here.

(1) Generally speaking, the Chris Cooley blog is totally sweet. Whether it’s posting half-nekkid pictures of his wife, completely nekkid pictures of himself, or videos of the Redskins’ internal fantasy draft, this is all goodness. Good for Chris Cooley for having a sense of humor in re: his good fortune and not taking himself too seriously.

(2) Whilst Tanner Cooley is certainly correct in his taunts from the fan perspective — and really, he’s just a fan, and he’s allowed to talk as much smack at NFL players as the next fan — it does complicate things to post this on an official player site. Not that it isn’t funny, but you can imagine how certain folks on the other side of the equation might not appreciate it.

(2a) Let us all note the obvious parallels with the McNabb family blogging efforts.

(3) I, for one, think it’s puh-retty cool that “saying b*tchy things about other players on one’s blog” has a chance to become the next step in the bulletin-board-material evolution of “running your mouth in front of a camera.” Certainly the players can’t complain that they’ve been misquoted if it’s their own web site. If anything, this could pave the way for dueling videos on YouTube, snarky Twitter entries (note: even I have avoided Twitter to date and I typically go in for the latest techie fad), awkward Facebook Wall posts. The future is now!

Cool piece in this morning’s Inquirer about Eagles’ rookie wideout DeSean Jackson and his erstwhile talent for baseball.  As you might imagine, DeSean was “good at sports” as a kid, and had something of an aptitude for more than just football. 

Things I learned from said article included: (1) DeSean was a speedy leadoff guy (Um, yeah, that makes sense), (2) DeSean’s dad lived in the same house as Roberto Clemente growing up (Huh?), (3) both the Phils and Rays took a look at him as a high schooler (How relevant!), and (4) the DeSean Jackson Is Cocky ™ meme is alive and well.

Certainly the CamelCased One doesn’t lack for confidence:

“I was definitely pretty good,” Jackson said. “I had a lot of speed. I was a leadoff hitter, and I’d get on and steal second base. Sometimes, I’d be risky and steal third. Sometimes, I’d even try to steal home. I led my league in steals and batted like .400.

“I thought about [baseball], and I didn’t like the idea of going on long bus trips and playing in the middle of nowhere when it was hot. I know it takes a long time to get to the big leagues, and I couldn’t see myself sitting in a hotel room watching football, because it’s something I love.”

Mercifully, DeSean hasn’t forgotten his Nuke LaLoosh media training, and quickly followed up with a salvo of rookie-appropriate cliches:

“I might pull my Deion out after this football thing is over,” Jackson said in reference to former two-sport star Deion Sanders. “It seems like it would be tough to do both. I’m just playing football and that’s tough, so I can only imagine what it’s like to do both.”

Yes yes, it looks very difficult for you.

With the ostensible return of Kevin Curtis and Reggie Brown to the Eagles’ lineup this weekend (though there’s still plenty of time for Brown to strain a groin before Sunday), talk has turned to the Eagles’, hold on, deep breath, suddenly deep and talented receiving corps.

With the what now? 

Are we actually using phrases like “There are enough balls to go around”?  Really?  Because of a win against the Niners?  What about the two weeks of lousy against the Skins and Bears?  Personally, I think the Eagles’ receivers are just fine — certainly not elite, but definitely competent when healthy.  But this isn’t the 1992 Dream Team; I expect most fans will be content if the Eagles can muster up just a few big plays from their wideouts.  I certainly don’t think we have to worry about hurting these guys’ feelings.

Of course, a healthy Curtis means that someone among Baskett, Avant and Greg Lewis is likely going to sit this week.  Um, again, I don’t think this is an advanced-placement-level question: the answer is Greg Lewis.  I guess he and his 172 lbs. play a little special teams, but so do brand-new linebackers. 

Of course, the larger question here is what happens to young Master DeSean.  I really hope that having Curtis and Brown healthy doesn’t land him on the bench, and instead is used “as an excuse to find him deep in single coverage.”  That’d be sweet. 

Pretty standard fare on offer in today’s state-of-the-team address from Eagles president Joe Banner.  The obvious driver for the appearance was the recently passed trade deadline, and the Eagles’ lack of moves thereabouts.  I suspect that Mr. Banner was interested in offering the organization’s marketing message directly to the customers in re: said customers’ ongoing perceptions that the Eagles aren’t aggressive enough on deals.  Otherwise, why would he bother?  He’s actually in charge down there; the NFL doesn’t mandate that he speak to the fans — this is all him.   

As a result, we got the standard volley of cliches (”We think we’re always aggressive”), and insistence that the Eagles are always trying to improve the team, though not in a reckless manner (”If ‘going for it” means we do something stupid, then I hope no”).  Good on Spuds for trying to sniff out who might be in line for an extension: the young DTs, the maligned tight end, the veteran free safety, who?  Banner of course gave him nothing, which was a bit of a disappointment.  I wish I had more of an understanding of how the Eagles’ front office views the potential unraveling of the CBA?  Peter King (I can’t believe I’m typing this) actually had a very good take on the Cowboys’ view on this matter in his column this week.   

If there was anything juicy in Banner’s interview, it was his take on the Cowboys.  While he admitted that he roots for all the teams in the division (and conference) to lose, he had some special words for the Cowboys’ loss to the Rams, damning with faint praise by explaining that he doesn’t “know what’s going on with the Cowboys, but they’re very talented.”  And when asked about the Roy Williams trade, he was a bit more candid: 

“They paid a lot….I wouldn’t pay that much for a player like that….I remember that they traded two first-round picks for Joey Galloway, and they haven’t won a playoff game in 12 years.”

Look at that!  Joe Banner talking smack about no-playoff-wins-since-1996!  Is he secretly posting on message boards as well? 

Derek tastefully finished off the blogganza last night.  Many thanks to Derek himself for putting up with me for a few days; certainly I get a lot more out of these things than he does (I also usually learn a thing or two).

Now we can return to our regularly scheduled programming already in progress: Igglesblog will present data and sound hypotheses about the Eagles’ performance, and I’ll give you details on my experience signing up for Brian Westbrook’s fan club at bwestbrook.com.

Joe Banner’s doing a State of the Team appearance on Soviet Central Media at 12:30?  I expect a six-paragraph explanations in re: “Well you might have heard that we tried to trade for this player or that player, and we do make inquiries if we think that they can help our team, but really, we’re very happy with the guys we have and think we can win the Super Bowl.”

Derek pwned me a bit yesterday afternoon, and then assured me that no one would be reading anything on the bye weekend anyway.  So that’s pretty sweet.  

Let’s go to the highlights: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5.   

*****

I didn’t expect us to actually discuss the performance-enhancing drug thing at all.  I dunno.  This isn’t something that tends to get me too spun up; do we feel betrayed by Lenny Dykstra, or are do we treasure our memories of the ‘93 Phillies?  And if we’re talking about football, I mean, dude.  Even if these guys aren’t on banned substances, they’re clearly stretching the boundaries of natural human development.  They’ve chosen to play a hideously violent game, one which might bring them glory and riches, but which undoubtedly will remove some quality from their later years.  They’re willing to carry extra bulk and smash into other dudes.  We can’t see their faces out there anyway; if some of the killer robots want to use special fuel, well, I don’t think it really ruins the TV show.

(Unless it’s the Cowboys or Giants.  Then it’s f*cking cheating.  But I guess I generally don’t romanticize it all that much.)

Of course, it would be irresponsible to discuss performance-enhancing substances without noting that two players from the NY/ NJ Vodka-Red-Bulls were suspended on Thursday for using banned supplements.  This is MLS we’re talking about here!  What will the children think?  (Both Philly guys, by the way.)  Seriously, this is bad news.  Luckily, they were both fined 10 percent of their salary; as my brother noted, that’s like $4,000!

(What, we don’t follow MLS?)

Far be it from me to dodge a question, I’ll admit that I actually forgot that “least favorite Eagle” was in play.  I was hoping to debut a regular feature on this topic (no kidding, I was), so I’ll give you a sneak preview: his name begins with an L, ends with an R, and in the middle there’s a lot of “Orenzo Booke.”  The tight end is obviously a close second (if only because he seems to be a much bigger jerk than Booker; Booker’s just overmatched).

On to some of your points before my final volley of questions:

I don’t understand in re: Sheldon Brown.  What leads you to believe he’s only in it for himself?  Because he avoids the media-training cliches when talking about contracts?  The guy plays every single game and is by all appearances extremely irresponsible when it comes to contact.  You think he’s 100 percent healthy every week?  Big hits don’t get you contracts; gambling for picks does.  I bet Sheldon Brown has a lot of respect from the rest of the team.  And, frankly, I’d prefer it if you didn’t continue to impugn his good name!

I’m glad your commenters gave you grief for the Nerdbirds.  As loud as that stadium is, and as much as Homlgren seems to be in AR’s head, the Seahawks are a train wreck right now.  The Eagles had better win that game.

Please tell me that the MySpace story is true.  Seriously?  You really stalked Tony Hunt on MySpace?  That’s fantastic.  Also, when are you going to get your ass on the Facebook?  We have a great officer position waiting for you when you do.

You missed my rather pessimistic point on the 36 Chambers of Brian Westbrook.  I don’t doubt Westbrook’s pride or his toughness.  My bigger concern is his health.   Are broken ribs going to heal quickly?  Does the rest of the league know that he’s banged up in the mid-section?  I mean, I hope so.  He’s the best player the Eagles have.  But I think we might be overly optimistic about the rate of his recovery.  I mean, I hope not.  I hope he’s spending extra time in the hyperbaric chamber this week.  But we have to confront the fact that he might not be whole for a while.

Dude, you totaly dodged the McNabb question!  You’re right to note that he hasn’t had a bad stretch yet to prompt the inevitable larger conversation amongst the blathertariat, but I’m asking you now what you think.  Before the season, I certainly thought it was a done deal that this would be his final season in Philly.  Now I’m not so sure — I think he has a shot to stay for a couple more seasons (if he so chooses).  Where are you landing on this topic?  You think he’s still gone?

Also, we’re both obviously complete nerds about the Football Outsiders thing — what’s your professional opinion on the Eagles being #1 in DVOA this week?  Hidden indicator that the Eagles might be better than we all think, or proof that Aaron Schatz and the boys might need to reconfigure their spreadsheet?  I obviously think it’s the model’s fault.  While they do a nice job of trying to create a taxonomy that understands that not all plays are created equal, it’s obvious that the model doesn’t capture the value of the half-dozen plays in a game that matter a ton — and that the Eagles seem prone to screwing up.  Plays on the goal-line, big stops in the fourth quarter, sloppy stuff at the end of the first half: these seem to be themes every week.  Am I imagining things here?

It’s also worth noting that I blame Andy Reid for those screwups.  Discuss!

Dude, Derek, you’re effing killing me with the quick response.  Seriously.  I can’t keep up with that.

Uncle.  At least until tomorrow.

In which I defend Darren Howard’s honor (sort of) and make a bunch of random predictions of my own.

The story of the film so far: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.

*****

Oh my heavens!  I think we might need an intervention here.  I’d like all the Iggles Blog readers to note that Derek just said that he’s only been to two Eagles games!  (I mean, there are legitimate reasons for this, but still.)  I bet more than a few of the fans of Iggles Blog have season tickets.  This is your hint to send Derek an e-mail and invite him to a game.  Think of all the joy (and charts, and graphs, and lengthy defenses of Donovan McNabb) he’s brought you over the years — don’t you think you owe it to him to bring him to a game?

At the very least, the Birds organization should comp you as some sort of blogger outreach program.  (NOTE WELL anyone from Birds HQ who might be reading this: I would also like to come to more games!  Right here!  The Bounty!)

Cheers to the SAWX for their big comeback last night.  Though I can’t help but note that there really isn’t a good answer in re: which city the Phils face in the World Series — it’s essentially the two cities respsonsible for the Worst Eagles Experiences of the last decade (being, of course, the 2002 NFC Championship/ Final Game at the Vet and Super Bowl XXXIX).  Depending on your inclination with these things, it’s either a win-win or a lose-lose.  I’d like to suggest some sort of Flyers-esque “Vengeance Now” value prop for the local marketing efforts, but I think the Phils are a little too PG for that.

On to the football, first with some comments on your replies to my questions.

WHOA.  Damn skippy you need to be careful what you’re saying in re: Darren Howard!  It certainly isn’t outside the realm of possibility, but man, that’s quite a bit to suggest.  I mean, I obviously love an elaborate conspiracy theory as much as the next fellow, but the Occam’s Razor answer seems a bit more plausible; can’t we just assume he signed a big contract, loafed around and then finally got in shape when he was worried about his job?  I mean, that’s what I would have done….

But while we’re on the topic, were there ever rumblings when Dunavin showed up for work a couple years as Bulky Donovan?  Or was he just lifting too much?  I mean, McNabb is obviously a guy who’s going to need to be careful about the waistline once he’s done playing; maybe he’s just big-boned?  Also — and you’ll love this one — I’m sure you read the section in Pro Football Prospectus about how remarkably healthy the Cowboys have been over recent years…don’t tell me it didn’t lead you to wonder if there was a little something-something added to the salad bar at Valley Ranch.

Thus concludes the Unfounded Accusations portion of today’s post.

Also, you should really be more careful about what you say about David Akers.  You know he’s sitting on his couch right now sporting his fashionably rimless spectacles, catching up on Mad Men, and hitting F5 on Iggles Blog.  At the rate you’re going, you’ll never get another interview out of those Reebok people.

And now for your questions of me.

1.  Favorite / least favorite Eagles and why?  No cheating by picking old-timers, I’m talking current roster.

This is actually a pretty easy question.  It’s Sheldon Brown by about two touchdowns.  My reasons: (a) I’ve always had a fondness for big-hitting DBs, and he’s been the biggest-hitting DB for the past three seasons (with apologies to Dawk; the days of the Dawkplex are past); (b) he actually speaks honestly and intelligently to the press, and doesn’t appear to be completely full of sh*t — it’s like he skipped media training; (c) he plays every week.  That counts for a lot.  So yeah, I’m a big fan.  I’m actually staring at a framed copy of the SI cover photo of him drilling Reggie Bush (”Cardboard Box“) right now.

2.  Fill in the blanks: “The Phillies winning the World Series would feel like __________.  The Eagles winning the Super Bowl would feel like __________.”

You know, this is a really hard question to answer without sounding like a complete pervert, so apologies in advance for my answer (which draws upon the amount of time I spend on airplanes): “The Phillies winning the World Series would feel like getting a surprise upgrade to first class for a seventeen-hour flight to Australia. The Eagles winning the Super Bowl would feel like getting a surprise upgrade to my own private jet for a seventeen-hour flight to Australia, only we’re not going to Australia, we’re going to a special island in the South Pacific where cheesesteaks grow on trees, clothing has been outlawed, and I am about to be named emperor.”  (Too much?)

3.  You’re really not going to ask about Tony Hunt?

Okay, so tell me about Tony Hunt.  I just assume he’ll end up in Minnesota, right?  You can just ask him, right?  I assume he’s spending his time off chilling at your place?  He’s playing XBox right now?

4.  Over the past 10 months, the Eagles have been linked by rumor to approximately two dozen players not currently on their roster.  Of the guys who actually changed teams — yes, we all wanted Larry Fitzgerald — who are you most annoyed about not getting?  (NOTA is an acceptable answer if you show your work.)

Let me get the obvious and popular answers out the way first: the answer isn’t going to be a wideout, so we can cross off Randy Moss and Roy Williams.  My answer might have been different six months ago, but that was before young Master DeSean was dropped at our doorstep.  The Moss thing was especially tempting, more so than Roy Williams.  I’m just not as completely obsessed by this position as your average Birds fan.  I mean, I guess I could say Jared Allen because, well, he’s Jared Allen and it remains relatively difficult to find dominant defensive ends.  But I don’t know if that was actually ever in play.    (The Skins can have Jason Taylor, though.)

I actually would have been pretty psyched if the Birds could have nabbed Jeremy Shockey.  There.  I said it.  He’s better than L.J., and would have played like a complete psychopath against the Giants.  But my actual answer — and admittedly, this is very fresh — is Tony Gonzalez.  DOOOOOOOOOOOD.  That’s pretty much exactly what the Birds need.  A red-zone beast who’d be reinvigorated on a new team?  Plus he’s a veteran guy who’s a non-idiot and seems like he has the personality and temperament to handle the Illadelph?  Also, he comes with a lovely commitment partner.

Also it’s worth noting that I really like the guy they did get: Asante Samuel.  This is just the beginning of the Asante Samuel era in Philly.  This guy definitely counts as a playmaker, and he’s not going anywhere.  Seriously.  He’ll be a “real Eagle” soon enough.

5.  I cheated on your bonus question, but now I’m kind of interested in hearing your answer to it.  I’m rubber, you’re glue …

First off, I know I thought that the Eagles would lose to the Nerdbirds before the season began, but I herby update my opinion on this topic.  Seattle has to be the most disappointing team in the NFL right now.  The Eagles had better win that game.  Of course, none of us care about that because, well, no one cares about the Left Coast teams (nor should they — West Coast teams are, as well know, soft).    Let me throw a couple random ones out there:

a.  Shawn Andrews doesn’t play another game for the Eagles this year, and spends the off-season musing about retirement.

b.  Dallas misses the playoffs.  Wade Phillips is fired shortly thereafter.  Jason Garrett is named the head coach.  Wow.  That was awesome to type.

c.  Washington makes the playoffs.  I can’t believe I’m typing that, but playing solid defense and running the ball can get you pretty far in the NFL.  And for the life of me I’m not going to say nice things about the Giants.

d.  Brian Westbrook never really gets healthy and rushes for fewer than 900 yards on the season (he’s at 194 after six games, so I’m saying he doesn’t break 70 yards/ game over the remaining ten).

e.  Finally, at long last: Donovan McNabb starts 16 games, and, GASP, is welcomed back as the Eagles presumptive starter for 2009!

What say we to that?