For those of you still wallowing in the emotional depths of the Giants game, feel free to take some comfort in the fact that the Eagles will be facing the one-win Cincinnati Bengals this weekend. Sure, the Bengals are coming off their bye week, but whereas other teams might use that time to rest and regroup, well, these are the Bengals. As such, we can only assume that they spent their time off burgling teammates, driving under the influence, and concealing firearms.

Also exciting for the Eagles: Carson Palmer has already been ruled out for Sunday. No word yet if he’s hanging out with Shawn Andrews in California waiting for both of their respective teams to put them on IR. In Palmer’s place the Bengals will trot out Harvard grad Ryan Fitzpatrick, who’s currently leading the league in Gentlemanly Club Life.

See? Reason for optimism!

(Random Ivy League football note: I caught a quarter of an Ivy League game a couple weeks ago, and was shocked to see both teams running the spread offense and chucking the ball all over the field. I had heard the spread was popular at smaller schools, but this was astounding, and a far cry from the 1950s offenses that these schools were running just 10 years ago. Who knew?)