Due the vagaries of out-of-state commitments and air travel scheduling, I won’t be watching the Ravens game live (though I will have it on the DVR).  This might be for the best.  A week after torturing ourselves with five quarters of blah, I can’t imagine many Eagles fans are fired up for this week’s game.  A foul miasma appears to be floating around this team, and it’s really taken the joy out of football season.

A game with the Ravens is probably the last thing the Eagles needed this week.  A tough, physical offense that wants to run the ball?  A highly rated defense that will feast on a weakened Brian Westbrook and a mentally fragile Donovan McNabb?  And the potential indignity of losing a game to a guy, John Harbaugh, that was an employee of the organization for the past 10 years?

Yeah, that doesn’t feel good.

Here’s to hope, then.  Here’s to hoping we see something different this week: some fire, some enthusiasm, some fight.  Here’s to hoping that Donovan McNabb can answer the bell and come up with something special.  Here’s to hoping someone on defense does something scary and psychotic, and puts some fear into the Ravens.

If not, well, the obituaries on the Reid-McNabb era that kicked off this week will grow in both font size and justification.  Those obituaries may be inevitable this season, but I’d prefer if we waited until January for them.

Final score: Eagles 20, Ravens 10.

I was in the stadium the last time the Eagles played the Ravens, and I remember it fondly.  People were rocking the Halloween costumes (including some guy on stilts, going through security, above) and the Birds were rolling (undefeated at the time).

The Ravens played the Eagles tough that day; given the deficiencies of the Baltimore offense, the Ravens’ defense played very proudly.  It took all of Donovan McNabb and T.O. at the height of their powers to score on a fourth-quarter touchdown pass — which included some post-contact effort from T.O. — and eke out a 15-10 win.

Of course, what followed that touchdown was one of the season’s more memorable moments, as T.O. parodied Ray Lewis’s entrance dance as a post-score celebration.

Say what we will about T.O. (and we’ll all say a lot), but I kind of wish somebody on the Birds had the stones to pull a stunt like that.  This team has looked lifeless for the past couple weeks.  They could use something obnoxiuos, and proud, and loud like that to get them fired up.  It doesn’t need to mock the other team (though we don’t hate that idea), but it needs to change the tone of the conversation for the Eagles.

Who’s going to be that guy?

Right now, I feel like the Eagles are watching called third strikes.  They’re telling us they’re working on it, and playing their hearts out, and all that, but it doesn’t look like it.  They seem a little too nice.  I dunno.  Maybe it’s the lingering hangover from a draw, but I’d like to see more desperation this week.  Something random, something angry, something that at least suggests they aren’t going quietly.

(Yes yes, I’ll print out a copy and send it to Andy Reid.  Go team.)

For the most part, we tend to be Super Duper Donovan McNabb Fans here at BountyBowl, and believe that history will actually remember Big 5 a lot more kindly than current circumstances (or Warren Sapp) suggest. But man, did Dunavin ever blow this not-knowing-the-rules thing.

He flubbed his way through his presser yesterday, offering a ton of excuses about how no one else knew the rule either, and that they change the rules all the time, and how some of the officials don’t know all the rules, etc etc.:

On how he feels now that there has been so much discussion about his lack of knowledge of the overtime rule: “It doesn’t make me feel bad at all. I was truly being honest. The thing about it is that now other people are starting to say that they didn’t know it either. Am I wrong for that? No. Should I have known that rule? There are a lot of rules that coaches, officials, players, they don’t know. Any time an official goes out on the field and then you see (NFL vice president of officiating) Mike Pereira trying to correct that mistake, that shows that officials don’t even know everything in the rule book. (Neither do) coaches (or) players. What people may say about me, it doesn’t bother me. As you can see, every time something happens that I have been a part of, more and more things have come out and people begin to sit back and say, ‘Oh, maybe he was right.’ Should I have know that rule? Yes. But, there are a lot of rules in that rulebook that a lot of us don’t know, and we ask questions.”

On the fact that ties have been around since 1970: “The rule has been adjusted. I know that there is a tie. I was expecting to at least go to another overtime, maybe with less minutes. The last time it happened was Pittsburgh, I believe, in 2002. From what I understand (Steelers WR) Hines Ward was a part of that and didn’t even know it was still in there. So, I guess I’m not the only one.”

It was pretty awkward, and not very accountable. Mentioning Hines Ward? Huh? John Smallwood beat him up for it in the paper this morning, and Smallwood was right to do so. That’s because the correct answer was “I made a mistake, I should have known the rules. My bad.” Repeat after me: “I made a mistake, I should have known the rules. My bad.” And again: “I made a mistake, I should have known the rules. My bad.”

McNabb then followed it up with a post on Yardbarker that essentially offered the same story, and not the simple answer that would have ended this nonsense:

Everybody wants to know about the overtime situation. Whatever happened had no bearing on the outcome of the game. That’s all that matters. We all know the rules now. There is no need to waste any more time on the subject.

No “I made a mistake.” No “I should have known that.” He’s essentially asking us to forget about it and move on. And we’d love to. But bungling the PR makes it harder to move on.

My opinion in re: what he should have done: go with the blog first, ahead of the presser. On his blog, he gets to control every word of the message. People could have taken a look at it (like his PR guy, Rich Burg, or a friend or family member) and he could have made sure his message was completely clear before he posted it. Then, when he walks into the Wednesday presser, he can acknowledge that he already addressed the issue on his blog, that he should have known the rule, and then play the “we need to talk about the Ravens” card. I thought that’s what the blog was for — for direct communication with the public in media kerfuffles like this one.

Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy. And not very accountable. This was not a proud moment for the Donovan McNabb marketing team.

Oh man, that Occam’s razor is a b*tch.

Amidst a week of Andy-and-Donovan-must-go, the most shocking news I’ve heard is the revelation that Brian Westbrook is more banged up than we may have thought. Whether it’s in pieces like this one or on Brian’s weekly radio show, it’s pretty evident that the Eagles’ erstwhile best player is hurting — and that he isn’t likely to get better any time soon.

There has even been mention of — gasp! — the Dread High Ankle Sprain, which we all know to be among the most mysterious and crippling of the football injuries.

A couple things here:

1. We’re not allowed to be shocked that the Eagles aren’t exceptional running the ball if the two guys who made the Pro Bowl last year — and who are pretty important in the running-the-ball thing — are missing or very banged up. This is the simplest answer. We are allowed to be shocked at the coach’s reaction to those events and his lack of a back-up plan. Even if you’re not exceptional, you still need to be effective.

2. I’m feeling exceptionally horrible for even suggesting the following a month ago, though it looks like it might be pretty true:

“Brian Westbrook never really gets healthy and rushes for fewer than 900 yards on the season (he’s at 194 after six games, so I’m saying he doesn’t break 70 yards/ game over the remaining ten).”

Yeah. Let’s not think about that too too much.

In other news, Dunavin faces the blathermonkeys shortly. I hope he has a plan for explaining away the tie thing. And I hope it has multiple references to being “ambushed” by “gotcha” questions from the “liberal elite.” Don’t ever let them see you sweat, big fella!

Huh. Looks like the folks at SI.com don’t quite have the tie thing figured out either, as they list the Eagles’ record at 5-4 and not 5-4-1. I’m sure those extra two characters totally blows their format/ template, but, um, don’t they have a responsibility to actually report accurate information?

The Bengals page is also incorrect.

Until that’s fixed, I hereby decree that Sports Illustrated is forbidden from posting any articles beating up on Eagles players for not knowing about ties. So say we all!

(Hat tip to Brother of Bounty for the screenshot and heads up.)

So I’m moping around yesterday like I normally do following an Eagles loss. Moping typically involves some sort of faux-healthy purge (half-assed trip to the gym, non-terrible lunch), so I meander to the deli up the street from the office to get a cup of soup.

Keep in mind that I hate eating soup for lunch. Hate it. This is because I contend that it shouldn’t really count as lunch — it’s liquid, and a man of my carriage merits solid food in the middle of the day. But again, we’re purging, and soup was all I deserved.

Anyhoo, the deli in question has a Soup Guy. As in, Mr. High-Energy-Personality-Plus who loves his job and relishes the opportunity to make a few moments of chit-chat with each customer as he ladles out portions. I mean, he’s nice enough, and he obviously means well, but there’s something about him that drives me insane. Don’t worry, friends and coworkers have assured me that I’m the one with the problem here — it just isn’t rational to dislike someone for being friendly/ polite / happy with his job (unless you’re some sort of psychopath). I get it. I’m the jerk. Yup.

It’s also worth noting Mr. High-Energy-Personality-Plus is also a big NY sports fans (Mets, Giants) who typically uses the most recent professional sports result as fodder for his idle (but apparently mandatory) chit-chat with the patrons.

So I roll in there mid-afternoon and belly up to the soup station. Thus commenceth the chit-chat:

“How can I help you!” [Insanely chipper and friendly tone.]

“Can I get the tomato basil with chicken?” [Dull monotone, no eye contact.]

“Sure you can! Small or large!” [Big smile.]

“Small.” [Barely making eye contact.]

“You sure?” [More smile.]

“I’m sure.” [Eye contact made, withering look.]

“How you doing today?” [As he’s ladling.]

“Yeah I’m all right. All good. How about you?” [Figured I should at least pretend to act like a human being.]

“Oh can’t complain, my shift’s almost over and the Giants looked great yesterday!” [Still ladling, smiling.]

[Beat.]

“OH YEAH??? THE GIANTS??? HOW BOUTS I COME BACK THERE AND F*CKING WATERBOARD YOU IN THE SPLIT PEA WITH HAM!!!!!”

[Actually, I just said, “Yes they did, they looked great — thanks,” and moved on to the register.]

Welcome to my sports feelings.

Aw man, this “not knowing you could have a tie and the rules are different in the regular season than the playoffs” thing isn’t going away comma ever. It’s going to be tethered to the Donovan McNabb CV for all time.

It’s a bummer, because it’s just a punch line (as in, it’s not like Donovan McNabb was saving all his really good plays for that all-important second overtime period), but it’s going to be tough to shake. I agree with Andy Reid that it didn’t impact the result of the game. And if it did, it was reason number 847 if 852. But it’s more the general humiliation and embarrassment of it all. Not impressive.

I can only assume we’ll get a Yardbarker blog post on this?

If not, might I suggest that we use McNabb’s Wednesday presser to explore whether or not the quarterback knows if Africa is a continent? Or his take on the Reid doctrine? Or which magazine and publications he reads? You know, stuff like that.

Right. So this one isn’t sitting any better the morning after, is it. It isn’t just the quirky ignominy of the draw (there will be no talk of “ties” here at BountyBowl; this was a draw), it’s also the part where the game was completely brutal to watch and lasted almost five freakin’ hours. I meant it yesterday when I said that this was the worst Eagles TV show in years. Just horrible.

Anyhoo, what we’re still stewing about:

Dunavin doesn’t know what a tie is. Obviously, too much will be made of this, but it’s pretty odd that he didn’t know the rules. I mean, I don’t know all the rules either (eligible receivers? that crap with Eli and the line of scrimmage last week?), but I knew there were draws. Huh. Maybe it’s the nomenclature that tripped him up — all this talk of “ties” is confusing. He should show up for his Wednesday presser and insist that he was just confused because he didn’t know the reporters were talking about a draw — which he was OF COURSE aware of.

Let’s start pointing fingers. About midway through the third quarter, my brother and I had the “it’s going to take 20 points to win this game” conversation. He was admittedly more convinced that the Eagles defense would continue to hold than I was, but I guess I was more optimistic about the offense. Turns out he was a lot more right than I was. The offense was horrible yesterday, and the blame for the loss is squarely on them. Now let us all look forward to kickoff week for the the-playbook-is-stale meme.

More finger pointing. McNabb is going to take a ton of heat this week, for good reason. Bring it on. But it sure looks like other guys are struggling a ton too. I hate to blaspheme in re: the Eagles erstwhile best player, but Westbrook is not the player he was in 2007. And he may never be that guy again.

Even more finger pointing. So if it gets to “that point” where we’re talking about making changes to get guys experience and whatnot (and oh are we close), can we take a peek at what the Eagles offensive line of the future is going to look like? As in, with new tackles? Might as well get the nasty bits out of the way this season, right?

And just to make sure we don’t give the offense any credit at all. Don’t forget that the TD play was a screwup. McNabb and Westbrook were arguing about where Westbrook should stand up until the snap — they were lucky they didn’t earn a penalty for that. They were also pretty lucky that the improvised crap of a play they ran worked.

Pre-game predictions #1. I asked for a big game from the home-town kid, and he delivered. Trent Cole represented in a big way out there. Woe be unto that poor kid who was trying to block him in the first half (though of course it’s a shame he got hurt).

Pre-game predictions #2. I had begged that the Eagles “screw up” in a “new and innovative way.” A 13-13 draw definitely counts as a new and innovative way to screw up. Congrats, guys!

Pre-game predictions #3. Did I say Dunavin would throw it three dozen times? I meant to say 58 (!!!!!).

If we’re going to make excuses. I thought TJ Houshmandzadeh played a phenomenal game yesterday. Returning punts too? Yikes. He really wanted to win. Also, the Benglas were coming off the bye. (Also the Eagles are mediocre.)

Thank you Shayne Graham. Um, we complain about the tie now, but were it not for the Bengals crapulence, it would have been a loss. Anyhoo.

Hate to keep saying this, but it’s just last year’s 8-8 team, but with a better punt returner.

Oh wait, make that 7-8-1.

That was definitely the worst Eagles TV show I’ve seen all season. 

I really couldn’t decide if a loss was worse than a draw. 

Andy Reid, Donovan McNabb and the offense are on the hook this week.  In soccer, you’re cool with a road draw.  As a team with postseason aspirations in the NFL, you are not cool with a draw.  Horrible.

Horrible.

Let the discussion of regime change commence! 

The Bengals used to rock the “Welcome to the Jungle” thing back in the early 90s, right?  Back in the immediate post-Ickey years? Always though that was cool at the stadium, and oddly topical, especially as we approach the long-awaited release of Chinese Democracy.

Oh right.  The football game.  Against the Bengals.  With the Eagles.

This is essentially a minimal-upside/ all-downside game for the Eagles.  They win, and we all agree they were supposed to win; they lose, and we commence with the Donovan McNabb obituaries (it seems folks have been warming those up already).

(Seriously, if they lose, the fans are allowed to be outraged.  If the Eagles can’t get it done against the Ivy Leaguer, Cedric Benson and Dhani Jones, well, then we were all lied to by the team in July and August.)

The more likely result is that they’ll win comfortably, suck us all back in, and start to convince us (yet again) that this isn’t just last year’s 8-8 team (but with a better punt returner).

Quick list of things I’d like to see/ not see:

A taste of power football.  Wouldn’t it be lovely if the Eagles were able to pull off a mostly-run/ power football/ mix-in-Buck-and-BWest sort of drive against the Bengals?  The Bengals defense isn’t particularly strong (#23 in DVOA, 26th against the pass, 16th against the rush) — wouldn’t it build confidence in our guys if they saw they could actually push someone around at the line of scrimmage?

A long kickoff return.  Yes yes, Demps has been close for a while.  Great for him.  We’d like it if he actually busted open a huge one.  Maybe even a touchdown.  It has been a while.

Start McNabb in your fantasy leagues.  Don’t think Big Red missed the stat above about the Cincy pass defense.  Dunavin will throw it three dozen times today, won’t he.

If the Eagles are going to screw up, please do so in a new and innovative way?  No sloppy two-minute drills, no stuffed at the line, no dumb challenges.  Try something new, like 12 men on the field or an ill-timed LJ Smith fumble.

Trent Cole, earn that jersey purchase today.  Hometown game for ya, big fella.  I’m wearing your shirt this week.  Make it happen out there.

I think the Eagles delay the apocalypse another week or two and roll the Bengals.  I’m watching out in the H-O-B.  Prediction = Eagles 31, Bengals 13.