Posted on December 17th, 2008 at 12:08 pm by Cheesesteak Hoagie
And now for the Kevin Kolb post. Or at least the post about his jersey.
Initial disclaimer: we do not know nearly enough about Kevin Kolb to evaluate his talent/ potential as a future starting quarterback for the Eagles. A couple pick-sixes notwithstanding, we’re going to need to see a lot more from him before we can either (a) hand him the keys to the car or (b) blow him out the airlock (not to mix metaphors). He could be fantastic, he could be a failure, we just don’t know. We hope (obviously) that he can play.
Today I just want to talk about the misanthropic malcontents who wear a Kevin Kolb jersey to Lincoln Financial Field in 2008 (note that I saw two (2) of said jerseys Monday night). While I’m certainly open to alternate explanations, this is how I imagine the decision to first purchase and then wear the Kevin Kolb shirt plays out in the mind of the owner:
I really, really, really hate Donovan McNabb. A lot. It isn’t that McNabb isn’t my favorite player, or that I admire another player (say, Brian Dawkins or Brian Westbrook) more than McNabb, it’s that I really detest number 5. Like, a lot. It’s his fault we lost the Super Bowl, Rush Limbaugh was right, and this team will never win anything until he’s run out of town.
As a result, I’ve decided to pick up this nifty Kevin Kolb jersey. I mean, sure, unless I’m a member of Kolb’s immediate family or a big Conference USA football fan (unlikely), I’ve never seen Kevin Kolb play a full game of football. No matter. So concentrated and focused is my loathing for Donovan McNabb that I’ve chosen to sport his ostensible replacement’s jersey (custom made for about US$300 as it’s not currently available for sale the Eagles store, though you can find them other places for a little cheaper).
Someone suggested that I was cleverly getting in early on the Kolb shirt, but it doesn’t really work like that — it’s not this is a hot start-up and you get a discount for buying guys on the bench. Nope. I just wanted to be sure that folks knew where I stood on Donovan McNabb, and if it costs me a few bucks, so be it.
In fact, I’m so eager for folks to know where I stand on McNabb that I actually buy tickets to the games and wear my Kevin Kolb jersey as an act of passive-aggressive protest: “I hate you, Donovan, I hate you, and I want everyone in this stadium to know how much I hate you.”
Never mind that he’s the starting quarterback for my favorite team and the success of the starting quarterback tends to correlate pretty highly with the success of the team. That’s not my concern. My concern is letting the world know that Donovan McNabb is a big loser and that I am the sort of discerning football fan who has recognized that fact.
Go Birds (except, of course, for the full avoidance of doubt, Donovan McNabb — he can go suck a phat one).
Thus shall I declare that we PUT A BOUNTY on the Kevin Kolb jersey.
Okay, 37 readers of BountyBowl. Someone explain this to me. I’m willing to listen. Why wear the Kevin Kolb jersey? Note that I’ve left the topic of race out of the discussion to date, but don’t be afraid to go there (BountyBowl is not afraid to acknowledge the role that race plays in the Philly fans’ relationship with Donovan McNabb).
- We are now officially one (1) Rocky Bernard KillShot ™ away from the Kevin Kolb era
- Here’s MY vision
- We finally have a legit quarterback controversy
- Andy Reid admits that he was happy McNabb had to learn lessons (on the rest of the team’s time?)
- On Day 2 of camp, McNabb subplot already boring