What Would Buddy Do?
Eagles - Panthers Slopfest Summary
Posted on August 15th, 2008 at 11:16 am by Cheesesteak Hoagie

it almost looks like jackson might be blocking

While I was certainly thrilled to see some actual live Eagles football, I guess my biggest takeaway from last night’s game was “I am totally psyched that I didn’t pay full price to attend this.”  As if the part where it wasn’t an actual game wasn’t awkward enough, the rain delay added insult to injury.  Enjoy your soaking, we’re going to keep you crowded into the concourse for the next 45 minutes, concession stands will remain open, and you’ll be able to return to your soggy seat shortly.  Don’t worry, you should be home by one. 

Anyhoo, my takeaways (big and little) from last night:  

These guys are small.  Dude!  I knew Lorenzo Booker and DeSean Jackson weren’t the largest of fellows, but they looked freakin’ tiny out there.  Get these boys on the Michael Phelps diet STAT!  Seriously, at that size we can’t pretend that they’re going to make it through the full season upright, can we?  And it isn’t the height thing, it’s the mass issue.  Dude.    

In which we all towel off in re: the capabilities of Max-Jean Gilles.  While we remain hopeful about the progression of Gilles, he played like a very inexperienced guy last night.  The huge whiff on that screen pass block was kind of comical.  It almost happened in slow motion: “Come on, big fella, you’ve got him….OOHHHHHHH!”  Also, the penalties were pretty lame.  I guess better now than later.   

Sure they played well, but the Panthers’ offense looked bad.  The defense certainly looked competent, though the Panthers did the Birds the favor of running into the middle of the line (and avoiding the edge runs which had apparently vexed the defense against the Stillers) and not including Steve Smith in the festivities.  So it’s tough to get too too excited about what we saw on defense.  Also, though I’ve always had a soft spot for Jake Delhomme, I would not feel awesome about the QB situation in Carolina if I was a Panthers fan.  Lito’s pick was especially terrible — total floater.   Maybe it was the conditions, but he did not look sharp.     

Speaking of the defense, get ready for Stew Bradley in coverage.  Tip of the cap to the Panthers for a clever play call on the almost-touchdown to Mush.  They bunched the receivers in the slot and got Bradley on Mush.  Were it not for a vicious, completely out-of-line helmet-on-helmet collision between two veteran guys, we’d be talking a lot about Bradly chasing people in the middle of the field.    

That’s gotta be a fine, right?  After the hideous highlight against the Steelers, I’m glad Dawk got his groove back a little bit.  Still, that shot in the end zone has got to earn him a charitable donation from league HQ.  Too much, Dawk, too much.  We want you to last the whole season.     

An early 2006 vibe with the catching.  We hadn’t seen drops like that in a while.  Sure, it was wet, but a lot of those balls were there.  We can forgive a couple drops from Jackson (though we’d prefer less jumping and fluttering of the feet and more focus on “catching the ball”), but Curtis?  Baskett?  The ball from Kolb that hit Baskett in the f*cking face over the middle was not sweet.  Dunavin certainly wasn’t perfect last night, but a number of those balls should have been caught. 

Who really wanted to make the team last night.  Top of the list is Tony Hunt, who ran well, made a great catch on a poorly thrown screen pass from Kolb, and actually made some plays on special teams.  Adios, Ryan Moats!  Also, I had no idea who Fake Jeremiah Trotter was, but he definitely has to have played himself into practice squad consideration.   McDougle looks like he’s definitely making the team.  This was also the first I’d seen of Joe Mays.  More please. 

Who should feel very cold and lonely this morning.  Sean Considine running with the threes!  Yikes!  Also, as noted, Ryan Moats can probably go month-to-month on his lease at this point.   

And finally, the absolute low point of the game.  So we’d heard a lot about the investment in special teams in the offseason.  The Birds acknowledged the problem and tried to address it.  And, um, well, it doesn’t seem to be working.  Booker struggled to field kickoffs (nightmares of Green Bay running through our head), the fake field goal was completely hideous, and I have officially joined the “David Akers must go before he costs the Birds a divisional game” team.  The Birds are telling us that the coverage was good?  I guess so.  But it sure didn’t seem very organized out there.  I have to imagine that this is a Defcon Four situation at the NovaCare complex this morning. 

Still, it was cool to have football back.  Onwards!

So is like everyone else busy?
Posted on April 22nd, 2008 at 6:22 am by Cheesesteak Hoagie

I mean, being the kicker is cool and all, but um, well, I don’t know that hanging out with said kicker is exactly the most exciting promotion I can imagine.

I would definitely be more interested in hanging out with any of the veteran players (in that the rookies probably don’t have too much to say), the broadcast team (imagine ordering drinks with Merrill Reese; I would just keep insisting that he say, “Tautalatasi the lone setback” over and over), even Spuds (if only to tell him that I don’t think it’s fair that the blathermonkeys give him such a hard time). I just don’t know what I would talk to Akers about.


What happens when teams stop kicking to Devin Hester (and the Birds can’t score touchdowns)
Posted on October 31st, 2007 at 11:45 pm by Cheesesteak Hoagie

to whom are we pointing here

Congrats to David Akers, your NFC Special Teams Player of the Month for October!

While not quite as dubious as leading the minor leagues in home runs, we can safely say that this award is a mixed blessing (at best) for Akers and the Birds. I’m cool with the kicker getting his props if he’s hitting a bunch of clutch kicks to win games (like the Bironas guy in Tennessee), but, um, Akers actually missed a couple kicks this month and the only reason he had to kick so often was that the Birds couldn’t get into the endzone.

The stats are even more damning: the longest kick Akers made in October was 37 yards, and the average length of his made field goals was 27.1 yards.

(Read the rest of this story.)

Getting pushed around like it was 2003!
Posted on September 18th, 2007 at 2:27 pm by Cheesesteak Hoagie

at least rocca hasnt screwed up with the holdingSo we’ve all heard this story before.

Many moons ago, back in the days before TO and the trip to the Thuper Bowl, the Eagles used to grind out wins with their QB, a feisty defense, some talent at TE and RB — despite a completely overmatched WR corps. If last night’s game is any indication of a larger trend, it sure looks like this team needs to start thinking about winning in the 2003 style and not the 2004 style, because their WRs are getting pushed around like Trash and Stinkston.

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Pick Me (the David Akers commerical is pretty solid)
Posted on September 4th, 2007 at 8:29 am by Cheesesteak Hoagie

very zen indeedFor those of you poor unfortunate b*stards who (1) actually look at this site and (2) don’t have NFL Network, I thought I’d pass along a link to the David Akers “Fantasy File” commercial currently in rotation on said NFL Network.

It’s essentially a house ad pushing the fantasy games, with Reebok paying the tab.  They have three of these things in total, with Akers, Marques Colston and Marc Bulger as the stars in each. The Colston one is okay, and I have a soft spot for Bulger, (if only because he’s remarkably undermarketed for a guy who’s a marquee QB and I hadn’t seen him in an ad before), but obviously the Akers one is my favorite.

(Read the rest of this story.)

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