What Would Buddy Do?
Monday Eagles Hangover: the cure for hangovers is obviously EAGLES AWESOMENESS
Posted on January 12th, 2009 at 8:42 pm by Cheesesteak Hoagie

thatza touchdown

Been quite an interesting 36 hours for your humble author. From a windswept and cold tailgate at the Meadowlands to the best Eagles game in recent memory to the Happiest Place On Earth ™ and back, I can’t certainly complain of a lack of variety in my stimuli. And as I return home this evening in my big-boy pants and assorted standard-issue Banana Republic work clothes (with my cold-weather Eagles costume furtively stuffed into my carry-on baggage like some sort of smuggled sports-feelings WMDs), I’ve still got a glow about me.

Surely that’s the only way I made it through this little trip, which should have left me pretty worn out and haggard.  (Certainly my decision to “celebrate” throughout the day alone should have left me a little slow.)  Nope. I’m feeling great. Been feeling great all day. Such is the impact of this level of Eagles Awesomeness: it might have the power to cure hangovers and remove the need for sleep. We’re having scientists, trained scientists, look into it right now.

My day-after storylines and bulletpoints (written mostly without my usual embarrassingly exhaustive review of the mainstream post-game content, but we’ll take what we can get):

All hail the defense. Um, so at what point can we suggest that this is the best Eagles defense since 1991? What will it take? That defense, you might remember, didn’t shine like this one has in the post-season, and were more consistently dominant. They also had a bit of mean-spirited swagger that doesn’t seem evident in this team. For all the ferocity that this Eagles defense brings on the field, they’re not bullies. They’re not the Ravens. They just succeed, but without seeming to engender many bad vibes from opponents.

All that said, the worst thing I’ve ever heard uttered about Brian Dawkins. I actually heard someone a few rows back say, “I hope Brian Dawkins breaks his leg.” Out loud! Doesn’t he know that God might be listening and will surely punish him dearly for such a remark?

One of these weeks someone will figure it out. Westbrook doesn’t have it. He doesn’t. He’d love to prove us all wrong (like he did on the screen pass against the Vikings), but the jump isn’t there. We probably won’t get a straight answer on how hurt he is for a long time — some knee thing, the dread high ankle sprain, the ribs — hopefully at least three weeks. But he isn’t the weapon that we imagine him to be. Part of that probably has to do with the defenses he’s faced in the last month, but he just doesn’t look quite as quick. Still, as long as he’s willing to step on the field, folks will have to ignore him at their peril — especially in a warm-weather game on grass.

So if B-West isn’t carrying the offense, who is? Well duh. It’s the quarterback and a suddenly consistent group of receivers. Is it fair to say that McNabb has entered a new stage in his career over the past two months? This might be worth it’s own post, but it sure feels like he’s bringing the polished passing skills he’s acquired in the past couple years together with a determination and desperation (especially on third down) that he seemed to have last had in 2002. And I’m probably imaginging things here, but he actually seems more confident than he has in a while. Even when things haven’t gone well the past couple weeks, he’s been fairly unflappable. Makes me smile.

The things we carried.  I took a commemorative white towel with Giants’ logos all over it from a marketing/ promotions drone when I entered the stadium. The attendant looked at my Trent Cole jersey and Eagles hat and gave me a “Really?” “I want a souvenir to remember this by.” Pretty happy with that decision. I’ll put it on the shelf with my Phils towel from the NLCS and my plastic coffee mug from Fourth-and-26.

Stoppable (!).  I couldn’t tell who turned on Eli first: the fans or Tom Coughlin. Folks in section 108 were not happy with young Mr. Manning yesterday. The pick to Samuel prompted a chorus of anti-Eli haterade from the assembled Giants’ fans. I cannot explain how happy this made me.  To see them turn so quickly: it meant they were very much on edge heading into the game, and suggested that they were rightly terrified of the Eagles.  And with so much time to play!  It was truly glorious.  Though I guess Coughlin wasn’t far behind the fans, in that he essentially gave up on throwing the ball in the second half.

Speaking of, you know who loves to say, “I told you so?”  Everyone.  But mostly Derek gets to say it today.  When he wrote this, I was just psyched that he was telling us the Giants wouldn’t win the Super Bowl (I was happy with “anyone but the Giants” at that point).  But to have the Birds be the ones to beat them, TWICE?  Heh heh heh. Take a bow.

And one more shot at the Giants’ fans.  Dude, y’all certainly left that stadium puh-retty early — certainly a lot earlier than I was personally convinced that the game was over.  I guess my pessimism about games not being over until they are actually over — which is what happens when your team surrenders two blocked-kick TDs at the end of the first half in a single season — is stronger than your willingness to cheer your team, THE DEFENDING SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS, until the final whistle of the season.  I mean, really, why bother?

Yeah, I’m still soaring with this one.  Go Birds.

(Correction: I unforgivably misspelled Brodrick Bunkley’s first name in an earlier post.  No excuses.  Bad form from me.  Sloppy.)

All Pros and Fourth Down (and Brodrick Bunkley)
Posted on January 12th, 2009 at 9:58 am by Cheesesteak Hoagie

The day-after mega-post will likely not surface until later this afternoon, but I thought I’d check in with a quick thought on the two fourth-down plays from the fourth quarter of yesterday’s game. I just wanted to note that the Giants feature three All-Pros along their offensive line (one first-teamer, Chris Snee, and two second-teamers, David Diehl and Shaun O’Hara), and that said All-Pros were not able to convert a fourth-and-short with the season on the line.

I mention this not to speak ill of the Giants or the All-Pro voters (we’ll reserve that scorn for whomever picked John Carney, the Giants’ overmatched placekicker), but to suggest that maybe this Birds defensive line really is that good. They certainly were when it mattered yesterday — Bunkley even earned some individual accolades in the ESPN highlight package, that’s gotta be a first for him.

Again, we’ll be quiet most of the day, but before we split, we wanted to send a WTF to the guy who e-mailed me to ask if I had a video of McNabb puking in the Super Bowl.  Nope.  Nothing handy.  Thanks for asking.

Even in these fortunate times, the Haterade flows deep and fast.

(Best regards from the Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow.)

I guess nobody wants to wear 78 (must be a fat-guy number)
Posted on September 3rd, 2008 at 12:20 am by Cheesesteak Hoagie

we miss ya big guy

So for the second time in two years, a young Eagles defensive lineman has eschewed the number 78 in favor of more fashionable digits in the nineties. Last year it was Broderick Bunkley upgrading from 78 to 97, this year it’s Victor Abiamiri ditching 78 and pouncing on Jerome McDougle’s recently vacated 95 (while its corpse was still warm!).

Why no love for 78? Are the numbers in the seventies seen as a little too offensive line? Do young defensive linemen want to awaken the ghosts of the ‘91 Eagles (save for Mike Pitts, of course) and go for the numbers in the nineties?

Or is it just that nobody wore number 78 quite like Hollis Thomas, and it’s just pointless to attempt to outdo him in the 78 shirt?  And by “outdo him,” I mean, “Dwarf the actual digits on the jersey via a voluminous midsection that can only lead one to believe that an Eagles head coaching job might loom in your future.”

(Note that we’ll always remember Hollis fondly as an Eagle — especially the stop inside the five-yard line in the NFC Championship on Michael Vick.  Pretty cool that the big fella didn’t let Vick scoot past him into the end zone; that was a big play.)

So this is “personal reasons” (talkin bout guns like I ain’t got none)
Posted on August 13th, 2008 at 9:14 am by Cheesesteak Hoagie

guns.jpgI guess we know what the “personal reasons” were that got Eagles’ DT Broderick Bunkley excused from practice earlier this week: his house got burgled.

As capers go, it makes sense.  If you know where a pro athlete without a companion/ family lives and you know he’s got an away game, well, you have a pretty good shot at finding an unoccupied house full of fancy stuff.  It’s kind of like Die Hard, only significantly more petty and low-level. 

Among other details, the Daily News did a nice job detailing the arsenal of guns removed from Bunkley’s joint:

Also gone was his collection of firearms: two Desert Eagle .50-caliber handguns, an Armalite rifle, a custom-made .223-caliber rifle, a .45-caliber Glock handgun and ammunition for all of the weapons, the records show.

I count a Reid-household-esque five (5) weapons on that list.  Certainly it’s a collection that any sportsman would appreciate; he probably just bought them so that he could go hunting with Trent Cole.

Not to say I told you so (I never say it, and I don’t like people who do), but this is the sort of thing that doesn’t happen if Broderick would have just focused a bit more on building his entourage.  Bunk, no one will rob you if four of your boys from high school had been sitting on the couch sipping Miller Lites and playing XBox.  Think, man.  Think.