Things have been a little quiet on this end for the past week or so. Expect that to continue as we slowly approach the Long, Dark Teatime of the NFL Offseason. Not much going on right now for the Birds, and when we say not much, we don’t mean “not much” in a week-before-the-draft sort of way. This is the “not much” of the NFL-happenings-will-be-limited-to-mid-round-draft-pick-signings-and-occasional-arrests variety. Ain’t nothin’ doin’ in Birds land.

Still, the absence of actual news doesn’t mean we need to put away our Haterade for the next month. Oh no! There’s plenty to root for over the next month, specifically the ongoing mishaps, malfeasance and general discord of the Birds’ divisional opponents! While the goody-two-shoes Eagles don’t seem up to much this time of year (NOTE: said goody-two-shoes distinction does not apply to families of coaching staff), the G-Men and Cowboys seem happy to oblige will all sorts of pre-camp argy-bargy and nonsense.

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Just in case you want to relive that special moment.

The fact that you see three (3) flags enter the frame immediately is especially charming.

…I would recut this United Way ad so that instead of gently pushing each of those seven-year-olds on the swings, Roy Williams would instead make his way down the swingset yanking each of the children down to the ground by their little collars.   

Kind of like the Peyton Manning SNL spot, only significantly more mean-spirited. 

Totally bad karma to bring up the Roy Williams thing earlier, as he nearly exploded Donovan McNabb’s other leg with a Horsecollar ™ effort in the first half.

Again, they invented the rule because of this guy, and yet this guy keeps getting called for the penalty that they named after him. Perhaps a stern conversation with him on the topic might be appropriate.

Thank you, Philadelphia Eagles! You made my favorite television show interesting for one more week.

Though it’s probably just a bump in the road for what is still the best team in the NFC (staring at ground in abject humiliation), it’s never disappointing to beat the Cowboys, especially in Texas Stadium. Some quick bulletpoints about the game this afternoon:

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Okay, I’m bought in. 

Despite some hideously boneheaded moments and a Dallas defense that is laser-focused on preventing Brian Westbrook from running the ball, umm, I think we’re in this thing.  Dunavin looks sharp, the defense seems to have Romo flustered, and T.O. is throwing little tantrums on the sidelines.  This is all goodness. 

Still, life isn’t exactly meadows.  Things that have made me shout at the TV:

• What the crap was that effing Pam Oliver special report about how Dunavin thinks he’s getting shipped out of town.  That doesn’t fit with what Joe Banner had explained to me. 
• I know that I think this every week, but the Birds do seem to have gotten the stiff end of a bunch of calls, not the least of which was the horrifying Ken Hamlin shot on Schoebel.  I can’t even begin to understand the A.J. Feeley call, nor the false start on Jackson near the end of the half.  Baffling.   
• Show Jessica Simpson (who looks like she went to bed at 10 this morning) one more time.  I double-dog dare you.
• The Mikell play was among the most terrible that the Eagles organization has made all season.  Bringing the ball out of the endzone instead of kneeling?  Bad.  Fumbling on the 15.  Worse.  Calling timeout to decide whether to challenge?  Ill-advised.  Actually challenging the obvious fumble?  Mind-blowingly terrible. 

Still, I’m dreaming, more than I was two hours ago.

Go Birds. 

I really wish I was a little more excited about the game this afternoon. The Birds’ season is pretty much through, and I’m mostly concerned that the team has already quit — meaning that I’m going to watch them capitulate to the Cowboys this afternoon with little to no resistance.

That would not be sweet.

All I can think of as kickoff approaches is the opening lines from the very fabulous A Season With Verona by Tim Parks:

“FACCI SOGNARE says the banner. Make us dream! Please!”

And really, that’s what I’m asking for this afternoon. I know there are no playoffs (much less a Super Bowl) in the Birds’ immediate future. I’m rational. That’s all done.

I just want something to get excited about. Something to convince me that these guys are worth rooting for and that next year might be better than this one. (Read the rest of this story.)

…if someone on the Birds deploys one of Mr. Williams’ patented Horse Collar ™ tackles, especially if said tackle is deployed on a certain flamboyant wide receiver.

This is not to say that I wish the Cowboys or Mr. Owens ill will, BUT, it sure feels like there is some nice symmetry with a certain Week 15 game from 2004. Only this time it’s the 12-1 Cowboys hosting an out-of-it Eagles team instead of a 12-1 Eagles team hosting an out-of-it Birds squad. The Cowboys are the best team in the NFC — just like the Birds in 2004. I’m not saying I’m hoping that anyone gets hurt out there — no no, never — but were something unfortunate to befall a certain Dallas wideout, well, I wouldn’t pretend that I didn’t appreciate the irony.
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Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, who told you that you were supposed to be talking?

I understand if the reporters come to your locker and booby-trap some questions in an attempt to provoke some headline-worthy quotes. So far, you’ve done an excellent job of being respectful, saying the right things, and staying on the good side of the media. To be fair, we’re in the loveless twilight years of our relationship with Dunavin, and you’re the young trophy QB: a little cuter, a little trimmer, and utterly devoid of baggage. Of course we all want to buy you things and take you on weekend getaways — you’re just the fresh start we’ve been looking for.

Some quick advice: enjoy the lovefest while it lasts, and be at least 18 percent more careful with your words around the reporters.

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Welcome to the first official guest post in the history of BountyBowl! We’ve been flying solo here for a few months, but extreme circumstances merit extreme measures (insasmuch as a guest post is extreme). A good buddy had the opportunity to be the guest of the Dallas Cowboys at the Linc this past Sunday night. For professional reasons, he kept his Eagles-related feelings in check, but it sure sounds like he had a pretty killer time. And although we may have uncharitable things to say about the Cowboys on the field, he insisted that the folks he met from the organization were absolute class up and down — a view I can certainly second after meeting the guys on Monday. Let’s call it a friendly rivalry and leave it at that!

Definitely some good stuff in the notes after the jump, especially the story about the “blind dates” that showed up their section. Ahem! (Read the rest of this story.)