What Would Buddy Do?
Birds’ Rookies Repruhzent in Training Match versus Ultimate Villains
Posted on August 23rd, 2008 at 2:38 pm by Cheesesteak Hoagie

see ya john lynch

Maybe I need to book more flights for Sundays in the fall. 

Whilst I’ve only seen the highlights on ESPN and the Birds’ site, and can’t entirely comment on what transpired last night, I certainly have seen enough to SHAVE MY HEAD, CALL MYSELF SPUDS AND AFFIX MY RUMP TO THE QUINTIN DEMPS AND DESEAN JACKSON BANDWAGON.

Care to join me? 

We hate overreacting to preseason games, but I’m going to argue that the two returns are actually legitimate cause for enthusiasm.  We can’t say that we’ve drafted the next Devin Hester, but we can say that we now seem to have two (2) dudes capable of NFL return touchdowns.  Preseason or not, long returns in the NFL are long returns in the NFL, and the only dude on the Birds who’s had that super power over the past couple years (and really, close to the last decade) is the guy whose protective bubble-wrap coccoon (and the better judgment of the coaching staff) disqualified him from the role.

The thing I liked about both returns was how simple they were; half a cut from both guys, and then zoom — up the field we go.  And they were both fast: rather than getting run down at the end of their runs, both dudes were pulling away Usain Bolt-style.  The Demps one even had the intergenerational angle of young safety Demps blazing away from old safety John Lynch (how did that poor bastard end up on the kickoff team?) — pictured above, thank you Eagles site.

(I wanted to use this photo, but BGN wisely beat me to the punch.)

Let us also note that both youngsters were appropriately cocky afterwars, with Jackson claiming that he was miffed that Demps returned one before he did (thus providing him with extra motivation…) and Demps noting that Stephen Gostkowski — whose tackle attempt Demps disregarded en route to the end zone — might need to hit the weight room (note that Gostkowski is actually listed at 6′1″ 210, so he’s not a Gramatica). 


Also, it wouldn’t be BountyBowl if we didn’t comment on Prince Jeffrey’s wardrobe — looking much better this time around with the open collar versus the Fake-Steve-Jobs mock turtle.  Nice work, Mr. Lurie.

looking good


Someone tell Fake Steve Jobs to lose the turtleneck
Posted on November 27th, 2007 at 1:45 am by Cheesesteak Hoagie

worship my mock turtleneck
Look out! Jeffrey Lurie stole Steve Jobs’ turtleneck!  And he’s threatening to do an iPhone demo!

Knowing in advance that the answer is “Because they’re rich and they can,” can we at least ask the question about why these guys dress like such dweebs? I can’t tell which is more tacky, the turtleneck-and-herringbone ensemble from Prince Jeffrey or the Patrick Bateman look from Bob Kraft. In Kraft’s defense, he’s at least made the white-collar thing his signature look.

Also, there should be more jokes about Prince Jeffrey’s hair. I just don’t understand the physics of it.

Okay, I’ll stop now.