What Would Buddy Do?
Quintin Demps, that was the lamest attempt at a KillShot ™ we’ve ever seen
Posted on January 21st, 2009 at 12:19 pm by Cheesesteak Hoagie

While it’s certainly old news at this point, as we deal with the altogether unpleasant realities of No More Eagles Football, it would be a dereliction of duties if we did not address an as-yet-unexplored aspect of Sunday’s game: Quintin Demps’ personal foul penalty.

It has been suggested that Demps’ after-the-play shot to Kurt Warner’s chest was intended to rattle the veteran QB, and even that this maneuver might have even been authorized by the Eagles’ coaching staff.  While I don’t believe that anyone called in a hit from the sideline, I’d still like to question Demps’ judgment.

That is, if you’re going to take the fifteen-yard penalty, why not make it worth it?!?!?!?  If you’re going to hit him, really hit him.  Make it a KillShot ™ and win the game.  Quintin, in the heat of the moment, you need to ask yourself: What Would Tony Siragusa do?  Why, he would pummel Rich Gannon (Kurt Warner), take the penalty, and make plans for the Super Bowl.

For shame, Quintin.  For shame.

Obligatory KillShot(tm) Post: Chris Clemons, your life is calling
Posted on January 10th, 2009 at 4:10 pm by Cheesesteak Hoagie

Four games down, seven to go, and all eight quarterbacks have finished their respective games upright.  Nary a KillShot(tm) has yet to be launched.  Will we make it through the divisional round with a similarly unblemished record?

In the interests of fair play and all that is holy, let’s hope so.

However, were we to speculate about the Eagle most likely to deliver a game-ending blow tomorrow (”Now entering the game, David Carr”), we wouldn’t require much deliberation.  After his efforts against the Cowboys and Vikings, who else but Chris Clemons?

Again, we certainly don’t wish injuries on anyone, and we hope nothing like this happens, but if it should happen, well, I hope it’s the Eagles delivering the blow and not absorbing it.

(Only costs fifteen yards.)

KillShot ™ Official Ruling
Posted on September 8th, 2008 at 10:06 pm by Cheesesteak Hoagie

bradyknee.jpgGiven that the serotonin is still pumping from the refreshingly glorious Eagles victory (and I don’t want to hear anything from you naysayers about parallels to last year’s 56-21 beatdown of the Lions, at least not until Wednesday), I’m reluctant to address the topic of Tom Brady.  Why focus on badness when there is so much goodness in the air? 

Still, despite the fact that it’s not Eagles-related, my role as the Internet’s Leading Authority on Quarterback-Crippling Tackles, a.k.a. KillShots(tm) means that I will need to weigh in on the Brady hit.  Didn’t want to do it, felt I owed to him. 

(For a brief history of the KillShot(tm) comma according to me, click here here here and here.  Also, it’s worth noting that I died a little bit when I heard Roy Williams use the phrase when complaining about rules preventing him from viciously hitting other players in camp on an episode of Hard Knocks.  Dude, Roy, that’s my thing.  Also, you’re a jerk and we’re sending protestors to your house if your get your mitts on Dunavin’s collar next Monday.)

Whilst some members of the Pats are demanding justice this afternoon, I’d like to offer an official (!) ruling.  First off, I don’t think Bernard Pollard meant to hit Brady in the knee, much less end Tom Terrific’s (isn’t he dreamy!) season.  I think Pollard was trying to make a play with a blocker on his back and he ended up blowing up the NFL MVP’s season. 

HOWEVER, the absence of intent does not excuse the act.  The other football has a really appropriate phrase for a play like that: it’s called a clumsy challenge.  They give you cards for it.  You can’t go in with your studs up, with two feet, from behind, etc.  That’s how dudes get hurt.  

Similarly, Bernard Pollard may or may not have meant to hurt Tom Brady (I can’t imagine he did; if this was a playoff game…different story).  Intent aside, he still tackled him in a very reckless manner, one that is highly likely to result in an injury.  He has to know better than that.  Even in the midst of the violence, he can’t be driving his shoulder beneath the knee when a guy has his foot planted.  If there’s a rule and fines for hitting the quarterback in the head, they should also protect them below the knee.  And Bernard Pollard needs to avoid making that hit.  

So, I don’t know if it was dirty, but it was clumsy and it was unskilled.  And it killed a quarterback’s season.  Bernard Pollard, welcome to the ranks of the KillShot(tm) Ring of Honor!     


We are now officially one (1) Rocky Bernard KillShot ™ away from the Kevin Kolb era
Posted on November 30th, 2007 at 7:26 pm by Cheesesteak Hoagie

sorry there alex smith
With Donovan McNabb doubtful, it looks like A.J. Feeley is the man for Sunday. Hopefully Adam Joshua has another big game in him, as the Eagles have a tough Nerdbirds team in town.

Also, let us all take a moment to reflect on the fact that quarterbacks do take shots, the Seattle defense can get to the quarterback, and we might be one big lick away from the start of the Kevin Kolb era. For the record, Seattle is not above the occasional KillShot ™. Alex Smith hasn’t been right since.

High drama indeed.

McNabb, Mikell Doubtful for Sunday [PhiladelphiaEagles.com]

Of course, if we DID want to employ a KillShot ™ strategy…
Posted on November 25th, 2007 at 11:20 am by Cheesesteak Hoagie

your time has come big fella…it looks like we have just the guy.

Though he hasn’t been active for a game since September, wouldn’t tonight be the perfect time to work noted KillShot(tm)-er Kimo van Oelhoffen into the rotation at defensive line? Not only doesn’t he bring some veteran experience and pride to the proceedings, but he has a certain, um, morally casual attitude towards the occasional clumsy challenge.

I’m not saying we need to be out there taking cheap shots, but it wouldn’t hurt to have a few boys handy who weren’t afraid to play to the whistle.

I’m just sayin’ is all.

Also, the blog is called “BountyBowl.”

Steelers go for the KillShot [ThatKidInTheCorner — my old blog]

That’s mos def a KILLSHOT
Posted on September 27th, 2007 at 4:45 pm by Cheesesteak Hoagie

Whilst we endeavour to discuss the Birds exclusively, we do have a special spot in our football hearts for the KILLSHOT, the play by which a defender ends a game by purposely injuring a quarterback.

The video that PFT posted of the Vince Wilfork hit on J.P. Losman is pretty damning. We hate to point fingers, but this sure looked like a KILLSHOT.

(Read the rest of this story.)

Birds sign grizzled veteran KillShot-er(tm)
Posted on September 2nd, 2007 at 1:10 pm by Cheesesteak Hoagie

we dont knock it because it worksA day after announcing roster cuts, the Eagles signed the Jets’ recently discarded defensive tackle Kimo von Oelhoffen, ostensibly to provide some depth at defensive tackle.

Depth at defensive tackle is well and good, but I just think it’s nice to have someone on the roster who’s not afraid to do what it takes to win playoff games. I’m speaking, of course, of von Oelhoffen’s KillShot ™ on Carson Palmer in the 2005 Wild Card round, in which he rolled into Palmer’s knee and effectively ended the game (and perhaps kickstarted the Stillers’ Super Bowl run.

(Read the rest of this story.)