You’ve got to hand it to the Birds for the PR efforts on the Lito thing. At the same time that the local papers are covering it from all angles like an affair of state (”I like they way they surround a story”), Eagles management are playing it straight, assuring us that Lito IS A PART OF THIS FOOTBALL TEAM.

Of course, let it never be said that the Birds are not responsive to the needs of their customers! Note well that there are no fewer than four (4) photos of Asante Samuel and Lito Sheppard together (three with just the two of them, the other with Dawkins third-wheeling it in the corner of the frame) in the Mini-Camp album on the Eagles site. Never mind that neither appears with Sheldon Brown in any of the photos, or really with any other player at all except for Dawkins. Nope. Nothing to see here, folks.

Check out the photo gallery.

Also, and I don’t mean to nitpick, but could we go a little lighter on the “Sheppard flashed (first sentence) his trademark smile (fourth paragraph)”?

Come on, guys. That’s just sloppy.

On a day when even the 36 Chambers of Brian Westbrook was willing to discuss the weirdness of the Lito Sheppard situation (”It was definitely awkward for me to watch that”), you have to love the all-biznass attitude of newly minted Asante Samuel. Not one to get caught up in the intra-team drama (and it actually seems like this is real drama for the players; not just the standard blathermonkey-fabricated fare), Samuel offered the following gem to the assembled media:

“That ain’t got nothing to do with me,” Samuel said. “I just do what my coach tells me to do. It doesn’t matter what I’m used to - whatever my coach tells me to do, I’m going to do it. I was happy to be out there with my new team and show a lot of love. I like the way things are going.”

Attaguy. Company man all the way. And to think we might have expected something different from a man with a tattoo that says “Get Paid” on his arm (though Wikipedia claims that it actually says “Get Rich To This” — mostly I think we get the point)!

We would have also accepted “Asante has 57 million reasons to be happy.”

And we are back for Day 2 of the Draft in about 90 seconds. The Birds still have (gulp) ten (10) picks remaining, which mostly means that we’ll see plenty of petty fourth-round trades (”We’ll give you a fourth and a fifth to move up nine picks in the fourth round”).

Other things to look for:

• The Lito Sheppard trade.  Um, they’re going to trade him, right?  And not just get pennies on the dollar for him?  It’d be cool if an actual pret-a-porter player was involved in the deal and not an additional slate of future considerations.
• Two offensive linemen you’ve never heard of.  Come on, you know we’re not getting out of this thing without multiple behemouths added to the roster.
• The obligatory I-AA/ DII/ DIII standout that the Birds will smugly tell us is a great player we’ve never heard of (and whom we’ll all secretly hope is the next B-West).
• Fifth-round linebacker(s)!
• Another running back?

Onwards.

It is truly a measure of the efficacy of my years of conditioning as a loser Philadelphia sports fan that the mention of a Lito Sheppard trade to the Bucs immediately initiated the following sequence in my brain:

“The Bucs?  I hate the Bucs.  They sure seem to have the Birds’ number.”

“(Though I do have a soft spot for the America’s Game about the ‘02 Bucs; lots of good stuff about the Vet and Gru-Dawg in there.)”

“Wait, and why do I think that the Bucs have the Birds’ number?  Because that Ronde Barber guy is always intercepting passes and scoring touchdowns.”

“(I hate that Ronde Barber.  Makes me want to puke.)”

“Wait, isn’t Lito Sheppard pretty good at intercepting passes and scoring touchdowns?  Especially in big games?”

“(Sort of.  Mostly against Dallas, and that’s good enough for me.)”

“OH NO!  Lito Sheppard is going to get traded to Tampa and then he’s going to, like, intercept some important passes and score touchdowns that knock the Eagles out of the playoffs.”

You WISH I was kidding here.  Essentially, the thought of a Lito trade to the Bucs is almost enough to sour my favorite Youtube clip ever. 

Almost.

Yup, you’ve seen this a gazillion times. I don’t care. This just doesn’t get old. The slight delay between the pick and the crowd’s reaction is perfect. Perfect.

LI-TO! LI-TO! LI-TO! LI-TO! LI-TO! LI-TO!