You’d think we’d all be able to continue to bask in the glow of a GLORIOUS VICTORY AGAINST THE HATED COWBOYS.

It’d be nice, wouldn’t it.

Instead, we’re going to get a couple more days (at least) of he-said-she-said in re: whether or not Donovan McNabb told Pam Oliver that he thinks that he’s getting shipped out of town. Oliver’s response to McNabb’s post-game denial:

“My only professional regret is: Why on Earth did I bend over backwards to make it less impactful?,” she said. “And then wake up to … to someone throwing you under bus like that.”

“All I can tell you is I stand by it 100 percent,” she later added. “It’s on-my-mother’s-grave accurate. That’s the bottom line.”

YAWN.

While the blathermonkeys will insist that it’s newsworthy to discuss whether Donovan or Pam is lying, we’ll ignore Brian Westbrook’s impending Pro Bowl nomination and a charming little vengeance game this weekend against the Saints. Yet another week of all Dunavin, all the time.

Does this really still sell papers?  Really?

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At a certain point, one just starts to feel pity* for Donovan McNabb.

League rules require that he sit for a weekly press conference with the local (and occasionally national) blathermonkeys. Most of these affairs are pretty boring (I watch all of them; so what of it?), save for the occasional Stasi interrogation moments where they try to bamboozle him into saying something headline-worthy (where headline-worthy equals (a) throwing his receivers under the bus, (b) absorbing anything less than complete responsibility for the disappointment of all Eagles fans, or (c) anything about a certain former wide receiver).

Having watched so many of these things, I have to say that I’m impressed with his patience up there every week. It’s a testament to the guy’s professionalism that he manages to get through these things without rolling his eyes at every other question and/ or chucking a stapler at the blathermonkeys.

All of which makes his performance up there yesterday all the more disheartening.
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For all the grief we might toss in the local blathermonkeys’ direction in re: their penchant for cheap demagoguery, we must admit that we do enjoy it when they use their powers for good rather than evil. That is, when they take a week off from hating on the embattled and/ or beleagured home team and instead turn their vitriol on the opponent.

You’d think that we’d do a better job of turning the negativity on the bad guys on a week-in-week-out basis, but unless you’re a divisional opponent, we’re not really all that interested. Certainly a typipcal AFC foe would rarely even register. But the Pats are special. Not only are they the jerkfaces that ruined the Super Bowl for us in 2005, but they’re also beating the paint out of everyone this season and will probably win again. (Read the rest of this story.)

Oh, the local blathermonkeys can’t be thrilled with this!

After weeks of baiting Andy Reid (and Donovan McNabb, but we’ll skip that for now) about his impending dismissal/ resignation from the Eagles (which, it might be noted, included an actual editorial in the Daily News demanding Reid’s departure), Big Red and Joe Banner decided to tell their side of the story — to the New York Freakin’ Times.

In a move eerily similar to the Reid bye-week exclusive with Fox Sports correspondent Jay Glazer, The Eagles PR/ marketing machine decided to go over the local blathermonkeys’ heads to tell a heartfelt tale of tragedy and perserverence from within the walls of the Novacare Center (sniff, double-sniff). This story did contain fresh, previously unheard material — all packaged up and fresh for the ole gray lady.

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At the risk of going all-Sheldon-Brown-all-the-time here on BountyBowl, we have to admit that we completely agree with his post-game comments in re: how he expected the Birds to actually blow yesterday’s game:

“Normally, we’d find a way to lose that football game,” said cornerback Sheldon Brown.

So I guess I wasn’t the only one who thought that the Tampa game from ‘06 might happen again.
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A theory, just a tiny one, on a day when I don’t have the energy to discuss why it’s ridiculous to start the Kevin Kolb talk yet again (as apparently happens after every loss, even if it’s mostly the defense’s fault, see Chicago and Dallas):

Have you ever wondered if part of the problem with the Eagles — and teams in Philly more generally — is the absolutely poisonous atmosphere created by the fans and local media? That is, as much as these guys pretend that they tune it all out and focus on the game on the field, do you worry that they feel our collective lunacy/ anxiety? The lunacy/ anxiety that leads us to boo an incompletion on second down of the first series of a game?

I thought this sort of talk was a few steps too far, but then I saw Sheldon Brown’s quotes in today’s papers:

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Wow. Looks like somebody had a longer day than I did!

We were all pretending that the Andy Reid family drama wasn’t going to impact the football team, and that despite the distractions, the Birds would have a normal season. (Or at least I was pretending.)

Um, nope.

The Reid boys got sentenced, and the Reid family was skewered by MontCo judge Steven O’Neill. Coach Reid’s house is a “drug emporium”? “There isn’t any structure there that this court can depend on”? 89 pills in Garrett Reid’s rectum?

This is all a big mess for the Reids and the Birds, and it isn’t going away. My questions:

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In addition to a multimedia Trent Cole lovefest in the papers this morning (well deserved, good for Trent Cole), more than one blathermonkey stepped up to remind us all that (a) Dallas is coming to town this week and (b) it is right and just to hate on them.

Personally, I thought it was the most insightful thing Phil Sheridan has written in a while, if only because he was trying to channel the anger/ hatred/ bloodlust toward the other team, and not just the one we’re supposed to be rooting for. I’d say that they’re using their powers for good rather than evil, but I’m not exactly sure that’s correct. Anyhoo, way to pitch in, boys.

I especially liked the quotes from Sav Rocca, in which he demonstrated his familiarity with the Dallas rivalry, translated into non-American English:

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In the considered opinions of professional sportswriters Bob Ford and Phil Sheridan, the Eagles’ season is essentially over at 2-4 and the only question left to ask is which week would be most appropriate to introduce Kevin Kolb as a starter.

Whilst they attempt to slip a couple caveats into their analysis (Sheridan is more willing to say the season is completely over than Ford), both embrace an apocalyptic viewpoint in re: the state of the Birds and their prospects for success this season. Never mind that the Eagles were ranked in the top half of the NFL in the FootballOutsiders DVOA rankings or that they recovered from a 5-6 record to win the division last year! The team has lost a couple close games, and the experts insist that the coach and QB must go!

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It looks like Jay Glazer won the “Andy Reid ain’t quitting” scoop contest this weekend, in which glazer was blessed with the direct quotes from Big Red refuting the electric internet rumors of a bye week resignation from the Eagles head coach.

At moments like this, we can’t blame Andy Reid for going straight to the national media and bypassing the local cadre of blathermonkeys — it reaffirms his status as a national celebrity and spares him the inevitable low-level sniping that accompanies any interaction with the Philly press. Also, it never hurts to suck up to your core broadcasting partner; gots to remember who’s paying the bills ’round here!

I did have one issue with Glazer’s piece, though. It was this part right here, where Glazer’s transcription makes Andy Reid sound like Britney Spears’ media rep:

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