Far be it from us to poop on the efforts of a Birds fan to do his best to help his favorite team (retroactively) win the Super Bowl, no matter how (increasingly) inane and misguided those efforts may be.  We hear you, Arlen.  We do.  The Spygate thing feels a little squishy/ slimy to us too. 

But threatening a Congressional investigation, a la the Mitchell Report?  Dude.  Really?

Never mind that this seems to be a gross misuse of legislative dollars and attention (war, economy, failing education and health care infrastructure).  Right.  We’ve been over that.  As a citizen, this troubles me. 

As a sports fan, it may trouble me even more, if only because a Congressional Spygate investigation promises to be insanely effing boring.  Enough already.  The Mitchell Investigation/ Report has s*cked for years; let’s just say we’re not psyched for the sequel.      

Despite the best efforts of the NFL PR machine (and their associated Pats-luvin’ lackeys amongst the blathermonkeys) to indicate once and for all that Matt Walsh is a fraud and that we won’t be overturning any Super Bowls, thank you very much, Arlen Specter (R-Pa. (–you like that???)) remains unconvinced. He’s still demanding a meeting with Walsh, and encourages us all to be patient until we see “where the evidence leads.”

What he means to say, of course, is that HE WILL NOT SLEEP UNTIL HE DELIVERS WHAT ANDY REID COULD NOT: AN EAGLES’ SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONSHIP.

 I find it mildly amusing that so many folks are focusing on Specter’s ties to Comcast as the motivation for his otherwise frivolous and borderline negligent pursuit of the Spygate story. Yeah, maybe. (Read the rest of this story.)

…and I demand justice, or at least vengeful retribution.

So the dust has settled, the G-Men had their parade, plaudits have been offered to the Giants (including too much praise for “The Play” which seems to discount the part where this was a Favre-style heave into the middle of the field that, while amazing, is not something you’d like to do too many more times; AMAZING catch by Tyree, though, no doubt, and the defensive line was spectacular), and scorn has been heaped on the Patriots and Bill Belichick.

I’m terribly disappointed by how this all worked out; here’s why:

My dream scenario was that the G-Men would lose the game badly (and be properly humilaited for the hot-at-the-right-time-with-some-lucky-breaks-thrown-in frauds that I had hoped they were), while the Patriots would have their victory immediately sullied by some shocking new revelations in Spygate that would call into question the entire Patriots machine (maybe even on the same day as their victory parade?). We’re talking details that would force the NFL to demand that Lombardi trophies be turned over to their rightful owners (Juve style from 2006 — don’t think this is unprecedented).

That is, I was hoping that the Super Bowl could somehow produce two (2) losers. Note well that a straight loss wasn’t actually sufficient in the example above — I wanted them both to be humiliated (the Giants beaten badly on the field, the Patriots’ entire run of success discredited).
(Read the rest of this story.)

Oh dude.  Really? 

REALLY?

We shall give certain members of the Giants their due (their defensive ends, Tom Coughlin), and acknowledge that in a game of bounces, the Pats got a bit a unlucky (the ball hit the ground three times and the G-Men recovered all three; the Pats couldn’t hold on to potential picks), and try to say things like “It was an exciting game to watch.”

But it wasn’t exciting.  It was terrible. 
(Read the rest of this story.)

This pick is a lot easier than I thought it would be a couple days ago (famous last words!).

Obviously, as much as I may detest the Pats and their Empire of Entitled Smugness, at least they have something to be snug about. That is, the smugness of the New York Football Giants has long since earned my ire and disdain as My Least Favorite (And Thus The Most Loathsome And Worthy Of Scorn) NFL Team ™. Can’t stand the G-men. Not even a little bit. Even with the departure of Tiki, I still can’t decide who’s the most disagreeable player on the team; is it StupidF*cking*sshole Antonio Pierce or StupidF*cking*sshole Michael Strahan? Seriously, it’s a tough call. I suppose I’ll root for catastrophic knee injuries for all.

Still, I thought that the G-Men would play them tough, and at least cover. Not anymore. I buy the PFT theory that the Spygate thing is going to motivate the Pats to be extra mean-spiritied. Amazingly, I bet they’re sitting in their locker room right now reflecting on the fact that despite the fact that they’ve gone undefeated and scored the most points ever, NO ONE IS GIVING THEM ANY RESPECT.
(Read the rest of this story.)

Okay, dim the lights. Time for my extended whacked-out conspiracy theory on Spygate. Note that this will only make 30 percent sense, but hey, it wouldn’t be a conspiracy theory if it didn’t contain a fair amount of speculation; then it would be a “fact.”

Here we go:

1. The Patriots and Bill Belichick knew before this season that Spygate was coming. I actually suspect that Mangini took some of the tapes with him when he split the season before. Regardless, I believe that the Pats had a strong suspicion that the time of reckoning was near. Thus, they went out and spent in free agency at a level that they never had before, loading up for a big run in 2007.

2. The Patriots also knew that the NFL wasn’t entirely interested in catching the Pats cheating. After all, the Pats were the squeaky clean antithesis of those nasty fellows with the dog-fighting and the strip clubs and the weapons charges. The Pats are a wealthy franchise with a strong brand in an important sports market. No one wants to [insert cliche here: something to do with cutting off noses to spite things or killing geese that lay golden thingies].
(Read the rest of this story.)

Attaguy, Arlen Specter.

Who cares that the Iraq war is quickly approaching its fifth year or that the U.S. economy is in the pooper — there is an assistant golf pro and former office gofer somewhere on the island of Maui who might be willing to make unfounded accusations about the New England Patriots! Summon the Sixth Fleet!

Whilst I understand that pro football does enjoy some special privileges under the law (antitrust exemption, nice big stadia built with public dollars), um, the cheating allegations still aren’t that big a deal.  As a sports media story (that is, Britney and Lindsay for the male 18-to-44 set), it’s solid gold.  But I don’t think Spygate qualifies as an affair of state.

Still, you gotta love that Specter’s little — dare I say it — jihad against the Pats seems fueled (at least a little bit) by his subtly masked passion for the Eagles! 
(Read the rest of this story.)

Aw, dude. Really? The freakin’ Giants are going to the Super Bowl?

I am consumed with sports-related jealousy and resentment.

Note that I find the number of rookies involved in the Giants’ success to be particularly troubling. Ugh.

It’s going to take a real media hullabaloo to get me super interested in paying attention to the pre-game hype (something involving sudden mental illness or a prostitute); it’ll be nice to have the time back in the interim.

Savor the next 24 hours, all ye Giants fans in my life!

For a limited time only, I shall be rooting for the Giants to actually win an NFL football game. Not “win in order to improve the Birds’ playoff chances,” not “win but sustain major injuries to key offensive and defensive players,” just win.

Such is my deep spiritual ennui with the New England Patriot blathermonkey hype machine. Enough with the perfect season nonsense. I don’t mean to be a hater, but there are still a bunch of games to play, and I’d prefer to talk about the actual playoffs and not how the Pats stack up against the ‘85 Bears. If they lose now, we can just have the playoffs without the endless Pats hype. (Read the rest of this story.)

For the avoidance of doubt, the Eagles did not win a game on Sunday night.

Yes, they most certainly covered the largest spread in 25 years against the best team in football, but they didn’t win. It’s an L. Same as the losses against the Giants, the Redskins, the Cowboys, the Bears, and the Packers.

Of course, I’d be lying if I said I was anything but giddy about last night’s game/ loss. It didn’t count as a win, but as a piece of entertainment — and as proof of the vitality of the Philadelphia Eagles franchise — it was the best thing we’d seen all year. Hands down. The Birds lost, and this was still the best Eagles game of the season. If we can say nothing else about Sunday night’s affair (don’t worry, we can say plenty), it is this: the loss against the Pats makes me want to watch them again — makes me want to believe (!). Makes me want to believe like the Carolina game last year. Or like the Week 15 win against the Giants. It made me think that this is team worth rooting for (something I hadn’t really felt all that often this season).

And really, that’s all I’m asking from the Eagles TV show/ live event.

Now for some actual game analysis:
(Read the rest of this story.)