What Would Buddy Do?
At least I’ll be getting some time back over the next two weeks
Posted on January 20th, 2008 at 9:59 pm by Cheesesteak Hoagie

Aw, dude. Really? The freakin’ Giants are going to the Super Bowl?

I am consumed with sports-related jealousy and resentment.

Note that I find the number of rookies involved in the Giants’ success to be particularly troubling. Ugh.

It’s going to take a real media hullabaloo to get me super interested in paying attention to the pre-game hype (something involving sudden mental illness or a prostitute); it’ll be nice to have the time back in the interim.

Dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria
Posted on December 28th, 2007 at 2:35 pm by Cheesesteak Hoagie

eli-manning.jpgSavor the next 24 hours, all ye Giants fans in my life!

For a limited time only, I shall be rooting for the Giants to actually win an NFL football game. Not “win in order to improve the Birds’ playoff chances,” not “win but sustain major injuries to key offensive and defensive players,” just win.

Such is my deep spiritual ennui with the New England Patriot blathermonkey hype machine. Enough with the perfect season nonsense. I don’t mean to be a hater, but there are still a bunch of games to play, and I’d prefer to talk about the actual playoffs and not how the Pats stack up against the ‘85 Bears. If they lose now, we can just have the playoffs without the endless Pats hype. (Read the rest of this story.)

Let us all towel off and assess what happened
Posted on November 26th, 2007 at 5:56 pm by Cheesesteak Hoagie

the Birds actually got sacks
For the avoidance of doubt, the Eagles did not win a game on Sunday night.

Yes, they most certainly covered the largest spread in 25 years against the best team in football, but they didn’t win. It’s an L. Same as the losses against the Giants, the Redskins, the Cowboys, the Bears, and the Packers.

Of course, I’d be lying if I said I was anything but giddy about last night’s game/ loss. It didn’t count as a win, but as a piece of entertainment — and as proof of the vitality of the Philadelphia Eagles franchise — it was the best thing we’d seen all year. Hands down. The Birds lost, and this was still the best Eagles game of the season. If we can say nothing else about Sunday night’s affair (don’t worry, we can say plenty), it is this: the loss against the Pats makes me want to watch them again — makes me want to believe (!). Makes me want to believe like the Carolina game last year. Or like the Week 15 win against the Giants. It made me think that this is team worth rooting for (something I hadn’t really felt all that often this season).

And really, that’s all I’m asking from the Eagles TV show/ live event.

Now for some actual game analysis:
(Read the rest of this story.)

Okay, Yahoo gets my 25 bucks
Posted on November 26th, 2007 at 2:11 am by Cheesesteak Hoagie

I should be sleeping right now ahead of my meetings this afternoon, but instead I’m going to fire up the PC and watch this game (or at least some of it).

31-28? It’s still a loss, but without watching even a moment of it we all know that (a) maybe there’s still some life in the Birds and (b) I really wouldn’t want to be Donovan McNabb right now.  Anything less than a 42-0 drubbing of the Nerdbirds will earn him boos at home next week. 

But WHATEVER.  It looks like we now have a third game that was fun to watch this year. 

Bring on the Yahoo Internet Pass! 

Of course, if we DID want to employ a KillShot ™ strategy…
Posted on November 25th, 2007 at 11:20 am by Cheesesteak Hoagie

your time has come big fella…it looks like we have just the guy.

Though he hasn’t been active for a game since September, wouldn’t tonight be the perfect time to work noted KillShot(tm)-er Kimo van Oelhoffen into the rotation at defensive line? Not only doesn’t he bring some veteran experience and pride to the proceedings, but he has a certain, um, morally casual attitude towards the occasional clumsy challenge.

I’m not saying we need to be out there taking cheap shots, but it wouldn’t hurt to have a few boys handy who weren’t afraid to play to the whistle.

I’m just sayin’ is all.

Also, the blog is called “BountyBowl.”

Steelers go for the KillShot [ThatKidInTheCorner — my old blog]

I know one guy who wouldn’t be polite about a 24-point spread
Posted on November 25th, 2007 at 11:05 am by Cheesesteak Hoagie

buddy would not stand for a 24 point spreadSo things are looking pretty grim for the Birds tonight. Twenty-four-point dogs, the latest tackling dummies for the greatest NFL team anyone has ever seen, one more chance for Belicheat and Shady Brady to pad their stats and overrated loudmouths like Tedy Bruschi and Rodney Harrison to pound their chests. Mostly I’m worried that the Eagles will march humbly to Foxboro and take their whuppin professionally and politely.

Somewhere in rural Kentucky, there’s a man who would not take his whuppin professionally or politely.

This is not to say that said fellow would have a plan for actually winning the game (that might be a bit of a stretch), but at least the team would come out hungry, and would not lose gracefully. No mock humility, no “that’s a great team over there.” This is a man who didn’t make a big deal of pantomiming an “icy handshake” for the benefit of the cameras; if his team lost, he’d just skip the handshake with the opposing coach altogether. He’d run up the score and tell the press it was revenge for previous injustices. (Note, these things most definitely happened in the late 80s.)

And this is the man the Eagles need today: James David Ryan.
(Read the rest of this story.)

Just because it’s smart doesn’t mean it’s cool
Posted on November 24th, 2007 at 10:43 am by Cheesesteak Hoagie

you can just stay there dudeI guess we shouldn’t really be that surprised and/ or even disappointed that Dunavin is officially out (as of this morning’s injury report) for tomorrow night’s game against the Patriots.

In the grand scheme of things (that is, the part where we cling to some silly aspiration that includes the Eagles making the playoffs), this is absolutely the smart play. Better to keep 5 on the shelf and have him fresh for December. The Eagles are going to lose big to the Pats, and it’s going to have very little to do with the quarterback position.

If we assume that the Patriots will score pretty much every time they touch the ball (Warning! Warning! Recently out-of-football J.R. Reed to start at strong safety for Birds!), and that the Eagles offense plays average-to-well, the Birds still lose 52-24. (24 points would count as average-to-well.) Also note that the Patriots scoring every time they touch the ball also means that the Eagles will be throwing a lot, the Pats will know that, and whoever is standing back there with the ball is going to take a fair amount of shots. Enjoy the bruising, A.J.!

(Read the rest of this story.)

Blathermonkeys use powers for good, call Pats names
Posted on November 22nd, 2007 at 6:17 pm by Cheesesteak Hoagie

for a giant jerkface i did like his red sweatshirtFor all the grief we might toss in the local blathermonkeys’ direction in re: their penchant for cheap demagoguery, we must admit that we do enjoy it when they use their powers for good rather than evil. That is, when they take a week off from hating on the embattled and/ or beleagured home team and instead turn their vitriol on the opponent.

You’d think that we’d do a better job of turning the negativity on the bad guys on a week-in-week-out basis, but unless you’re a divisional opponent, we’re not really all that interested. Certainly a typipcal AFC foe would rarely even register. But the Pats are special. Not only are they the jerkfaces that ruined the Super Bowl for us in 2005, but they’re also beating the paint out of everyone this season and will probably win again. (Read the rest of this story.)

Semi-innovative and/ or hare-brained scheme for defeating (or at least covering against) Patriots
Posted on November 20th, 2007 at 9:22 pm by Cheesesteak Hoagie

perhaps we just make rocca inactive this weekSo I was browsing the comments on this week’s DVOA update on Football Outsiders when I saw a very intriguing proposal for how to play the Patriots:

To beat the Pats (or at least keep it competitive), why not go for the offensive version of the NHL trap? Assume NE is going to score a TD or at least a FG every drive. Play keep away as much as possible. No punting - play for all 4 downs. Keep the ball on the ground as much as possible. Run the clock down every snap. All you need is 2.5 yards a play to keep the drives alive. And if the run is working, some short passing routes will open up.

Whilst we’re sure this would never happen, given that the Birds are (GULP) 23-and-a-half-point underdogs on Sunday and it’s not clear that Dunavin is going to play anyway, I say we tip our caps to TMQ and just get after it.

The master plan: no punting.

Here’s why it’s not completely (that is, only partially) crazy:
(Read the rest of this story.)

That’s mos def a KILLSHOT
Posted on September 27th, 2007 at 4:45 pm by Cheesesteak Hoagie

Whilst we endeavour to discuss the Birds exclusively, we do have a special spot in our football hearts for the KILLSHOT, the play by which a defender ends a game by purposely injuring a quarterback.

The video that PFT posted of the Vince Wilfork hit on J.P. Losman is pretty damning. We hate to point fingers, but this sure looked like a KILLSHOT.

(Read the rest of this story.)

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