Well I guess I’ll have to abandon my “Isn’t it ironic how Andy Reid’s kids are in trouble with the law, but none of the Eagles’ players ever get arrested (unlike the rest of the league).” Congratulations, Mike Patterson! You’ve gotten the Birds on Turd Watch for the first time ever, and have totally killed my spin on the Reid kids.

Still, all things considered, this isn’t the worst thing that’s ever happened.  No guns, no strippers, no fisticuffs.  Just a kid from California getting caught with low-level drugs in his car.  Patterson’s a west-coast kid; he probably didn’t even know it was illegal in Pennsylvania.  (We shall not comment on the potential DWB scenario here.)
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I guess I’m not the only one who wants to be sure that Donovan McNabb keeps his blog posts/ invitations to hullaballoo(s) to a minimum this offseason — even Official Corporate PR Blathermonkey Dave Spadaro is begging for calm and quiet.

In a rather fluffy and otherwise fresh-content-free post on the Birds site yesterday, Spuds had the following to say in re: Dunavin:

Having a great mental off-season is just as important as having a great physical off-season for McNabb. My advice to him — not that he’s asking — is to lay low and work hard and enjoy the injury-free months. We’ve already seen, as evidenced by his most recent blog entry, that every word McNabb utters is going to be front-page news. McNabb should just enjoy the tranquility and the good health and have himself a drama-free off-season.
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In a sense, I’m shocked it took this long for someone in the McNabb camp to commit a PR faux pas. I mean, it’d been a whole week since the season ended; the employees of WIP need to eat too! 

To recap in case you haven’t been following closely (and it’s easiest to just review the excellent summary that Derek posted on Iggles Blog): two weeks before the regular season ended, a blathermonkey asked Dunavin if he thought that the Eagles needed to add more players in the offseason. Dunavin went to great lengths to give a very PC answer: that the Eagles needed to add playmakers in all phases of the game.

In response to follow-up questions, he did NOT say that he needed a wide receiver (and even chided the blathermonkey who asked the question for trying to draw him into a trap — yes, this is actually the state of things if you’re Dunavin: you have a jokey relationship with the jackals who are trying to goad you into a headline-worthy quote). He just said that the Eagles could be better if they had a couple more playmakers. Uh huh.

This sentiment was relayed to Andy Reid in a separate press conference, and Andy Reid scolded Dunavin for indirectly insulting his teammates. This was a little silly in itself (since Dunavin didn’t really say anything too crazy), but whatever. You’d think that this wasn’t such a big deal.

You’d think. (Read the rest of this story.)

You’d think we’d all be able to continue to bask in the glow of a GLORIOUS VICTORY AGAINST THE HATED COWBOYS.

It’d be nice, wouldn’t it.

Instead, we’re going to get a couple more days (at least) of he-said-she-said in re: whether or not Donovan McNabb told Pam Oliver that he thinks that he’s getting shipped out of town. Oliver’s response to McNabb’s post-game denial:

“My only professional regret is: Why on Earth did I bend over backwards to make it less impactful?,” she said. “And then wake up to … to someone throwing you under bus like that.”

“All I can tell you is I stand by it 100 percent,” she later added. “It’s on-my-mother’s-grave accurate. That’s the bottom line.”

YAWN.

While the blathermonkeys will insist that it’s newsworthy to discuss whether Donovan or Pam is lying, we’ll ignore Brian Westbrook’s impending Pro Bowl nomination and a charming little vengeance game this weekend against the Saints. Yet another week of all Dunavin, all the time.

Does this really still sell papers?  Really?

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Looks like somebody from PhiladelphiaEagles.com was working late last night!

Careful readers may have noticed a fresh image of Donovan McNabb celebrating the Reggie Brown TD inserted into the page-top header. Hmmm.

Note that Dunavin made a big point of saying that he was not trying to mock a certain former teammate with this celebration, but was instead “thanking the Man upstairs.”

Got it.

(Also, nice work from the web site staff sucking up to Dunavin.)

Well we certainly will never accuse the Eagles of being dolts when it comes to corporate communication and PR.

Joe Banner appeared on Howard Eskin’s show yesterday afternoon on WIP to answer questions about the Eagles’ failures this year and prospects for the 2008 season. Banner clearly stated that both Andy Reid and Donovan McNabb will be back with the Birds next year.

While some of the more conspiracy-minded blathermonkeys are attempting to suggest that this was all some sort of double-reverse designed to pump up McNabb’s trade value (umm, really?), it’s tough not to take Banner at his word. For a guy who chooses his words so carefully (and who was so tight-lipped about other issues during the interview) to purposely mislead Birds’ fans just doesn’t seems likely.

Of course, we can’t help but speculate about what prompted Banner to speak on WIP yesterday afternoon.
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A moment of the sublime from the blathermonkeys this morning.

After months/ years of baiting Andy Reid in person and in the papers, the locals got a rise out of him yesterday (which I mentioned in my Nerdbird game review). Not a big rise, mind you, but he did get a little pissy. Which is, in the grand scheme of things, pretty understandable, given that (a) his team is going to finish with a losing record, (b) his franchise QB might be damaged goods (forever), and (c) he and his family have been publicly humiliated and torn apart by his two sons’ drug problems.  Oh, and also he has to deal with these jackals in these charming little sessions four times a week.

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Oh, the local blathermonkeys can’t be thrilled with this!

After weeks of baiting Andy Reid (and Donovan McNabb, but we’ll skip that for now) about his impending dismissal/ resignation from the Eagles (which, it might be noted, included an actual editorial in the Daily News demanding Reid’s departure), Big Red and Joe Banner decided to tell their side of the story — to the New York Freakin’ Times.

In a move eerily similar to the Reid bye-week exclusive with Fox Sports correspondent Jay Glazer, The Eagles PR/ marketing machine decided to go over the local blathermonkeys’ heads to tell a heartfelt tale of tragedy and perserverence from within the walls of the Novacare Center (sniff, double-sniff). This story did contain fresh, previously unheard material — all packaged up and fresh for the ole gray lady.

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At the risk of going all-Sheldon-Brown-all-the-time here on BountyBowl, we have to admit that we completely agree with his post-game comments in re: how he expected the Birds to actually blow yesterday’s game:

“Normally, we’d find a way to lose that football game,” said cornerback Sheldon Brown.

So I guess I wasn’t the only one who thought that the Tampa game from ‘06 might happen again.
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Wow. Looks like somebody had a longer day than I did!

We were all pretending that the Andy Reid family drama wasn’t going to impact the football team, and that despite the distractions, the Birds would have a normal season. (Or at least I was pretending.)

Um, nope.

The Reid boys got sentenced, and the Reid family was skewered by MontCo judge Steven O’Neill. Coach Reid’s house is a “drug emporium”? “There isn’t any structure there that this court can depend on”? 89 pills in Garrett Reid’s rectum?

This is all a big mess for the Reids and the Birds, and it isn’t going away. My questions:

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