Maybe I need to book more flights for Sundays in the fall. 

Whilst I’ve only seen the highlights on ESPN and the Birds’ site, and can’t entirely comment on what transpired last night, I certainly have seen enough to SHAVE MY HEAD, CALL MYSELF SPUDS AND AFFIX MY RUMP TO THE QUINTIN DEMPS AND DESEAN JACKSON BANDWAGON.

Care to join me? 

We hate overreacting to preseason games, but I’m going to argue that the two returns are actually legitimate cause for enthusiasm.  We can’t say that we’ve drafted the next Devin Hester, but we can say that we now seem to have two (2) dudes capable of NFL return touchdowns.  Preseason or not, long returns in the NFL are long returns in the NFL, and the only dude on the Birds who’s had that super power over the past couple years (and really, close to the last decade) is the guy whose protective bubble-wrap coccoon (and the better judgment of the coaching staff) disqualified him from the role.

The thing I liked about both returns was how simple they were; half a cut from both guys, and then zoom — up the field we go.  And they were both fast: rather than getting run down at the end of their runs, both dudes were pulling away Usain Bolt-style.  The Demps one even had the intergenerational angle of young safety Demps blazing away from old safety John Lynch (how did that poor bastard end up on the kickoff team?) — pictured above, thank you Eagles site.

(I wanted to use this photo, but BGN wisely beat me to the punch.)

Let us also note that both youngsters were appropriately cocky afterwars, with Jackson claiming that he was miffed that Demps returned one before he did (thus providing him with extra motivation…) and Demps noting that Stephen Gostkowski — whose tackle attempt Demps disregarded en route to the end zone — might need to hit the weight room (note that Gostkowski is actually listed at 6′1″ 210, so he’s not a Gramatica). 

Solid. 

Also, it wouldn’t be BountyBowl if we didn’t comment on Prince Jeffrey’s wardrobe — looking much better this time around with the open collar versus the Fake-Steve-Jobs mock turtle.  Nice work, Mr. Lurie.

While I was certainly thrilled to see some actual live Eagles football, I guess my biggest takeaway from last night’s game was “I am totally psyched that I didn’t pay full price to attend this.”  As if the part where it wasn’t an actual game wasn’t awkward enough, the rain delay added insult to injury.  Enjoy your soaking, we’re going to keep you crowded into the concourse for the next 45 minutes, concession stands will remain open, and you’ll be able to return to your soggy seat shortly.  Don’t worry, you should be home by one. 

Anyhoo, my takeaways (big and little) from last night:  

These guys are small.  Dude!  I knew Lorenzo Booker and DeSean Jackson weren’t the largest of fellows, but they looked freakin’ tiny out there.  Get these boys on the Michael Phelps diet STAT!  Seriously, at that size we can’t pretend that they’re going to make it through the full season upright, can we?  And it isn’t the height thing, it’s the mass issue.  Dude.    

In which we all towel off in re: the capabilities of Max-Jean Gilles.  While we remain hopeful about the progression of Gilles, he played like a very inexperienced guy last night.  The huge whiff on that screen pass block was kind of comical.  It almost happened in slow motion: “Come on, big fella, you’ve got him….OOHHHHHHH!”  Also, the penalties were pretty lame.  I guess better now than later.   

Sure they played well, but the Panthers’ offense looked bad.  The defense certainly looked competent, though the Panthers did the Birds the favor of running into the middle of the line (and avoiding the edge runs which had apparently vexed the defense against the Stillers) and not including Steve Smith in the festivities.  So it’s tough to get too too excited about what we saw on defense.  Also, though I’ve always had a soft spot for Jake Delhomme, I would not feel awesome about the QB situation in Carolina if I was a Panthers fan.  Lito’s pick was especially terrible — total floater.   Maybe it was the conditions, but he did not look sharp.     

Speaking of the defense, get ready for Stew Bradley in coverage.  Tip of the cap to the Panthers for a clever play call on the almost-touchdown to Mush.  They bunched the receivers in the slot and got Bradley on Mush.  Were it not for a vicious, completely out-of-line helmet-on-helmet collision between two veteran guys, we’d be talking a lot about Bradly chasing people in the middle of the field.    

That’s gotta be a fine, right?  After the hideous highlight against the Steelers, I’m glad Dawk got his groove back a little bit.  Still, that shot in the end zone has got to earn him a charitable donation from league HQ.  Too much, Dawk, too much.  We want you to last the whole season.     

An early 2006 vibe with the catching.  We hadn’t seen drops like that in a while.  Sure, it was wet, but a lot of those balls were there.  We can forgive a couple drops from Jackson (though we’d prefer less jumping and fluttering of the feet and more focus on “catching the ball”), but Curtis?  Baskett?  The ball from Kolb that hit Baskett in the f*cking face over the middle was not sweet.  Dunavin certainly wasn’t perfect last night, but a number of those balls should have been caught. 

Who really wanted to make the team last night.  Top of the list is Tony Hunt, who ran well, made a great catch on a poorly thrown screen pass from Kolb, and actually made some plays on special teams.  Adios, Ryan Moats!  Also, I had no idea who Fake Jeremiah Trotter was, but he definitely has to have played himself into practice squad consideration.   McDougle looks like he’s definitely making the team.  This was also the first I’d seen of Joe Mays.  More please. 

Who should feel very cold and lonely this morning.  Sean Considine running with the threes!  Yikes!  Also, as noted, Ryan Moats can probably go month-to-month on his lease at this point.   

And finally, the absolute low point of the game.  So we’d heard a lot about the investment in special teams in the offseason.  The Birds acknowledged the problem and tried to address it.  And, um, well, it doesn’t seem to be working.  Booker struggled to field kickoffs (nightmares of Green Bay running through our head), the fake field goal was completely hideous, and I have officially joined the “David Akers must go before he costs the Birds a divisional game” team.  The Birds are telling us that the coverage was good?  I guess so.  But it sure didn’t seem very organized out there.  I have to imagine that this is a Defcon Four situation at the NovaCare complex this morning. 

Still, it was cool to have football back.  Onwards!

In the context of Igglesblog’s very excellent breakdown of the Birds’ special teams, it’s worth noting a  rare moment of candor for Andy Reid on Howard Eskin’s show yesterday.  While Big Red can occasionally be goaded into a firm evaluation of his team, it’s rare for him to use descriptors more elaborate than “not very good.”

But he let the guard down a bit in reference to the Eagles’ special teams over the past two seasons, describing them as ‘horrendous.’

Yikes!  Horrendous?  He never even called Freddie Mitchell horrendous.

Still, it’s evidence that these guys read Pro Football Prospectus too — and are at least aware that they need to address certain areas of deficiency on the roster.  (I’m filing this under “Reasons why Andy Reid isn’t as arrogant as everyone seems to think he is”).

Also, given that Joe Banner went and picked up a couple players to help on this front, I wouldn’t feel super-awesome about my job security if I was Rory Segrest.  The pieces are there; if the team continues to struggle, it’s gotta be on the coach.

I really wish I was a little more excited about the game this afternoon. The Birds’ season is pretty much through, and I’m mostly concerned that the team has already quit — meaning that I’m going to watch them capitulate to the Cowboys this afternoon with little to no resistance.

That would not be sweet.

All I can think of as kickoff approaches is the opening lines from the very fabulous A Season With Verona by Tim Parks:

“FACCI SOGNARE says the banner. Make us dream! Please!”

And really, that’s what I’m asking for this afternoon. I know there are no playoffs (much less a Super Bowl) in the Birds’ immediate future. I’m rational. That’s all done.

I just want something to get excited about. Something to convince me that these guys are worth rooting for and that next year might be better than this one. (Read the rest of this story.)

So I was browsing the comments on this week’s DVOA update on Football Outsiders when I saw a very intriguing proposal for how to play the Patriots:

To beat the Pats (or at least keep it competitive), why not go for the offensive version of the NHL trap? Assume NE is going to score a TD or at least a FG every drive. Play keep away as much as possible. No punting - play for all 4 downs. Keep the ball on the ground as much as possible. Run the clock down every snap. All you need is 2.5 yards a play to keep the drives alive. And if the run is working, some short passing routes will open up.

Whilst we’re sure this would never happen, given that the Birds are (GULP) 23-and-a-half-point underdogs on Sunday and it’s not clear that Dunavin is going to play anyway, I say we tip our caps to TMQ and just get after it.

The master plan: no punting.

Here’s why it’s not completely (that is, only partially) crazy:
(Read the rest of this story.)

And so it came to pass that EmbattledEaglesCoach Andy Reid, whose sons have recently fallen victim to wickedness and whose football team has recently fallen victim to being terrible at catching punts, has turned to the LDS Church for help in this time of need.

The Birds announced Tuesday that they had signed former Eagle Reno Mahe to handle the kick and punt return duties in the wake of Sunday’s game-changing muffs at Green Bay. They cut J.R. Reed to make space for Mahe, which is kind of a bummer since (1) I always had a soft spot for Reed and (2) there are now only 3 safeties on the roster. Greg Lewis survives. Comma. For now.

Mahe is pretty unremarkable as a return guy, but at least he catches the ball. And if there’s one thing that we know Andy Reid likes to turn to in times of need, it’s Mormons who can catch the ball (see also Curtis, Kevin and Lewis, Chad).

(Read the rest of this story.)

I’m actually pretty impressed by how easily I took yesterday’s COMPLETELY CRAPTASTIC AND SLOPPY LOSS to the Packers. I was really looking forward to Week 1, and it couldn’t have been more disappointing: my favorite team didn’t play well, and the game wasn’t really any fun to watch. And that isn’t because both defenses outplayed both offenses — good defense can be fun to watch when it’s hard-earned. But this was just sloppy up and down.

Still, I feel like the Eagles have been pretty blessed over the years w/r/t the Packers, and that eventually even luck reverts to the mean. Imagine the scenario if you’re a Packers fan: (Read the rest of this story.)

Most years it’s pretty tough to get too fired up about training camp competition for the starting punter position. Not exactly a glamour spot on the roster.

This year’s a little different.

By bringing in ex-Aussie rules footballer Sav Rocca, the Birds haven’t just frightened Dirk Johnson — they’ve given us all an interesting option at punter. As a fan, I can’t say I pay a ton of attention to the punter, but I do like the idea of having an Aussie rules guy out there. “Australian punter” has become a pretty attractive football brand; it’s just a little tougher than your average punter, AND it comes with a funny accent.

Go get ‘em Sav. We’re all pulling for you to do something extremely crude and violent in your first preseason game — prove to us you want to get the uniform dirty. Also, it gives the local blathermonkeys a chance to trot out all their Australia material. And who doesn’t enjoy Australia jokes?

(All that said, I don’t think he makes the team. Sure he might kick it far, but if there’s even an incremental five percent chance that he gets one blocked — say, in a division game — then I want nothing to do with it.)

Link:
Rocca Already Off And Kickin [Delco Times]