Things have been a little quiet on this end for the past week or so. Expect that to continue as we slowly approach the Long, Dark Teatime of the NFL Offseason. Not much going on right now for the Birds, and when we say not much, we don’t mean “not much” in a week-before-the-draft sort of way. This is the “not much” of the NFL-happenings-will-be-limited-to-mid-round-draft-pick-signings-and-occasional-arrests variety. Ain’t nothin’ doin’ in Birds land.

Still, the absence of actual news doesn’t mean we need to put away our Haterade for the next month. Oh no! There’s plenty to root for over the next month, specifically the ongoing mishaps, malfeasance and general discord of the Birds’ divisional opponents! While the goody-two-shoes Eagles don’t seem up to much this time of year (NOTE: said goody-two-shoes distinction does not apply to families of coaching staff), the G-Men and Cowboys seem happy to oblige will all sorts of pre-camp argy-bargy and nonsense.

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On the off chance you’re the sort of person who isn’t above the occasionl wager (Gambling Problem? Please call.), rest assured that you can now gamble on whether T.O. will test positive for performance-enhancing drugs. Note that the touts pushing this are fully aware that this is the sort of thing that tends to be be extra-popular in the Delaware Valley:

Will he test positive? What happens if he does? Will the Cowboy suspend him? What will this mean for the season?…Probably the only people happy about this outcome are die-hard Philadelphia Eagles fans.

Charming.  No.  Really.

I’m about a week late on this one, but I’d like to applaud the Birds legal department for yet another big year. Just when we thought we’d never have anything to do with T.O. ever-again-once-and-for-all, some enterprising young buck in Eagles LCA decided to go shake down Mr. Owens for some monies owed from the argy-bargy in November 2005.

Super duper!

Whilst it isn’t the All-Pro performance of the 2005 legal team, it’s still a nice shot in the arm for the organization.  Say what we will about needing playmakers on the field (and really, who hasn’t this week), but the Eagles sure seem to have playmakers on both sides of the ball in legal and corporate affairs.  

Nice work, boys.   

…if someone on the Birds deploys one of Mr. Williams’ patented Horse Collar ™ tackles, especially if said tackle is deployed on a certain flamboyant wide receiver.

This is not to say that I wish the Cowboys or Mr. Owens ill will, BUT, it sure feels like there is some nice symmetry with a certain Week 15 game from 2004. Only this time it’s the 12-1 Cowboys hosting an out-of-it Eagles team instead of a 12-1 Eagles team hosting an out-of-it Birds squad. The Cowboys are the best team in the NFC — just like the Birds in 2004. I’m not saying I’m hoping that anyone gets hurt out there — no no, never — but were something unfortunate to befall a certain Dallas wideout, well, I wouldn’t pretend that I didn’t appreciate the irony.
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So he isn’t doing sit-ups in his driveway. And he hasn’t tried to punch any of the over-the-hill defensive ends in the locker room (would that be Kearse at this point?). But it sure seems like Donovan McNabb’s behavior this past week was at least reminiscent of the antics of Mr. Terrell Owens.

What else can you say about a guy who’s inventing his own media sh*tstorm at the moment when his team needs exactly the opposite thereof? (Read the rest of this story.)